As a child, I loved holidays. I loved the 3 easter baskets I would get (one each from my mom & stepdad, dad & stepmom, and my paternal grandparents). I loved dying easter eggs, wasn't keen on the easter bunny, but tolerated him well enough. It was a nice, fun, candy-riffic time. Christmas was also fabulous with my maternal grandmother's fudge, lots of presents from my parents and other family (hey, there are advantages of having divorced parents -- double presents definitely ranking at the top). I love Christmas carols, shopping for presents for others, even wrapping presents (a task that I'm not quite as excited about nowadays). I love baking cookies, the tree, the lights, the tv programs (Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, A Charlie Brown Christmas) pretty much everything about it.One annoyance to me since I became a Christian is how I reconcile these fond childhood memories and my faith. Growing up, Christmas & Easter had very little to do with Jesus for me. As an adult, I have reactionary tendencies where I want to cut out all of those vestiges of secularism from holidays that are meaningful to my faith since they weren't meaningful to me in the ways they should have been. I don't want my children to be confused as we're talking about Jesus coming alive again while they're sitting on the (metaphorical) easter bunny's lap. Or explain Jesus' birth and then ask them what they want from Santa Claus.
But even this provides a conundrum for me -- I want my children to have fond memories of holidays, I want them to have fun and celebrate and look forward to these just as much as I did when I was a kid. My Myers-Briggs profile is ESFJ (extrovert-sensing-feeling-judging) and apparently one of the markers for this combination is that we are family- & tradition-oriented and love to make holidays special and meaningful for our families, which fits me perfectly. I want my kids to have traditions, but I don't know which traditions I want them to have.
So, this morning we hid easter eggs (with candy inside) around the backyard and the kids had a blast finding them. We kept one of the eggs empty and said that it was the "special" egg and then read them the story of the resurrection in Ben's bible (which, if you're looking for a good children's bible, look no further). This seemed to be a good compromise for me. I have a feeling that we'll continue to tweak (and probably get some resurrection eggs) and try to find the right fit for our family.
4 comments:
As an adult, I have reactionary tendencies where I want to cut out all of those vestiges of [insert here] since they weren't meaningful to me in the ways they should have been.
This is so me - not in reference to holidays, but in reference to other things (like evangelical beliefs that I no longer agree with). I was just telling Nick tonight how much it bothers me that I get such a viscerally intolerant reaction inside when I hear people espouse those views, yet I'm able to be calm and unruffled about people espousing views I've never held. It must be a human nature thing to react most strongly against things from our own past (collective or individual) that we've changed beliefs about (though I wish there was a way around it...I don't like seeing intolerance like that inside myself and it's not charitable).
But anyway - it is hard to figure out how to incorporate secular and faith-filled things at holidays. I will say that kids should be given more credit than we often do - we sat on the Easter Bunny's lap and got Easter baskets and did easter egg hunts, but I always knew that Jesus' resurrection was the reason for Easter and that was the main focus. The cultural 'fun' celebrations were separate from the religious significant in my mind and it wasn't confusing. Same goes for Christmas. I think that as long as you do the teaching about the Cross and Resurrection they will understand that as the primary focus, you've got smart kids.
I appreciated this post. We face a very similar tension in our family. I don't like to be reactionary and just throw out the tradition, but sometimes I wonder if it sends the wrong messages.
This year our kids colored eggs, had an easter basket, and had an easter egg hunt. On Sunday afternoon, I asked my four year old if he knew the meaning of Easter and to him it was about coloring and finding eggs. I explained to him again the meaning behind the season.
I think that you have shared a real tension that Christian parents must wrestle with.
Rachael -- that is really helpful for me to remember that my kids are smart enough to know the difference and to be able to separate the secular from the sacred.
Kevin -- I'm glad that we're not the only family who struggles with these sorts of things. It's nice that we have community with whom we can wrestle with these things together!
Maybe you have seen or made these, but a great way to combine the Easter story with the whole eggs and Easter basket thing is Easter story eggs. You have something in each of 12 eggs to represent a part of the Easter story and a Bible verse to go with it. If you search for "Easter story eggs" or "resurrection eggs" you will find several different versions to make or buy. J was a little young for it this year, but I plan to use them in the future. My mom used to make these with her Sunday school class every year.
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