proverbs, part 1

In an effort to be a better mother, I've been going through the Book of Proverbs lately, wanting to glean some wisdom for parenting and life in general.  I've not been disappointed, not that I expected to be disappointed in the Word of God!  I love the practicality in the proverbs -- I'm a "tell me what to do and I'll do it" kind of person, so I very much appreciate that aspect of the book as much of the rest of the bible is precepts and theory, which can sometimes be a challenge for me as I try to live out my faith.

I'm only through the first 18 chapters, so this isn't a comprehensive list, but I want to put down my thoughts before I forget them.

  

A few general observations from the first 9 chapters:

• Solomon exhorts his son(s) over and over in the first 9 chapters about heeding his words and instruction [main theme]
• The warnings against the forbidden woman are numerous and detailed
• Wisdom is to be pursued and loved -- there are manifold benefits to be gained from her
• Those who are happy in their ignorance are scorned

A few proverbs that have stuck out to me (chapters 10-14):

• Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. (3:27)  How often do I put off doing something thoughtful or kind for someone and then forget about it?  Or am just too lazy to get off my behind and do something nice for my husband or kids?  This is definitely something I want to teach my children.
• Do not plan evil against your neighbor, who dwells trustingly beside you. (3:29)  This is in contrast to Jesus' command to love your neighbor as yourself.
• Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. (3:30)  This is especially pertinent to me, when the kids are on my last nerve, I can sometimes take it out on my husband because I don't want to take it out on them!  
• There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him:  haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (6:16-19)  I think these are great verses to teach children -- pretty much sums up the life that I DON'T want my kids to live.
• Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her caputre you with her eyelashes; for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (6:25-26)  A good verse that can be used to talk to them about sexual purity and the value of marriage.
• Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (12:1)  Probably not the best verse to give to them after a spanking (because really, who loves to be spanked?), but the precept is good to instill into them.
• One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. (13:7)  My brother-in-law once told me that when you don't have money, you want to buy things that make you feel like you do, even if you don't have the money for it.  
• Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools with suffer harm. (13:20)  An excellent verse to talk about and memorize before starting school!
• The fallow ground of the poor would yield much food, but it is swept away through injustice. (13:23)  How much "food" would the poor yield if they were given the opportunities that the rich have (i.e., education, healthcare, etc.)?

better off dead?

One of the most offensive things to me, as an adoptee, is when someone on the pro-choice side insinuates that adoptees would rather be dead than adopted.  This happens more than you may think.  It normally comes up during the course of a debate when the pro-life side brings up that  choosing adoption is also a choice -- and the pro-"choice" side inevitably brings up their one adopted friend that they know who doesn't like their parents (because all biological children like their parents???) and they extrapolate from their friend's experience that adoption is not a good choice.

I was reading a facebook group discussion about abortion around the time of the presidential election (I think it was either an anti-partial birth abortion group or the Fight FOCA group) and this very subject came up and this ignorant person brought up this argument.  It bugged me at the time, but it's been needling me ever since that there are people who think that adoptees would rather be dead than adopted and they think that this is a rational, cohesive argument for abortion?

I, for one, am glad that I was born.  I'm glad that my biological mother made the hard decision to give me life.  I don't know the circumstances of my adoption, but I'm thankful for the life that I have.  I had really good adoptive parents, but they weren't perfect, but I don't know many biological children who think their parents were either.

I will say that there are things that adoptive children do miss out on, and many do feel a sense of loss and have a difficult time getting over it (though I did not).  I remember my best friend growing up always commenting on how she had her dad's feet & nose and her mom's hair.  I never had that.  I would look at family pictures and feel self-conscious because I looked different than everyone else.  When I was younger, I had this feeling that my life was totally random, that if my case number was different or if a prospective set of parents wanted a boy instead of a girl, that my destiny could have been forever altered by very slight changes.  Knowing that there is a God who orders the world and our lives was important to me when I became a Christian, the knowledge that I was put into my family for a reason and that it wasn't a random act of chance.

I'ts been a joy to me to have children for many reasons, but also for the reason that I have people who look like me in my family (although Ben is ALL Chris, with just a touch of Korean).  To say that my daughter has a nose like mine or hair like me.  To look at our family pictures and not have that feeling that I don't look like everyone else.  I've really enjoyed that and am glad that I'm alive to experience it!