Is November 4th Here Yet?

For those on Facebook, I opened up a can of worms in a note that I wrote asking for help from my pro-life, Obama-supporting friends. I guess I should have known that I was asking for trouble as I know my friends on Facebook and know that they like to make their opinions known :) In addition the comments on the note, I got many Facebook messages there and the discussions are ongoing.

It makes my head hurt thinking about politics, although in a good way. Most of the people who posted in that note are friends from college with whom I would stay up talking about everything and anything until all hours of the night. I loved that -- iron sharpening iron, challenging each other in a safe environment, thinking and shaping our own philosophies and learning from people who have different opinions than ours. I miss that. I enjoy going to a house church because we get some of that good discourse in a safe environment.

I also miss the chance to just think about things. I often feel like I don't have enough time/energy/will to think through tough issues. I'm an extrovert, which means I'm an external processor and poor introverted Chris serves as my CPU, who takes my raw data and turns it into something structured and understandable by other human minds. And, having kids means that I'm often thinking about diaper changes, meals and other menial things far more than I would like and don't have time to think about my political philosophy.

My questions/thoughts that I'm currently wrestling through are as follows (and I might open back up that can of worms on Facebook, but we'll try here first):

1. What kind of government does the bible support or mention? What I can recall are: theocratic monarchy, an oligarchy, a dictatorship.
   
2. When I'm standing before God's throne, is he going to judge me by who I vote for (among other things)?
3. Why am I making such a big deal of this when my vote is really insignificant in this election, living in Illinois?
4. Will Roe v. Wade ever be overturned in my lifetime? And even if it is, that just sends the decision to the states.
   
5. There have been 2 Democratic presidents since Roe v. Wade was judged, the rest have been pro-life Republicans and I haven't seen much progress.
6. I really dislike having a one party majority in the executive & legislative branches, and it looks like that's where we're headed.
7. I'm troubled by Obama wanting to sign the Freedom of Choice Act (which would remove all restrictions on abortion) as one of his first acts in office.
8. Do I really feel okay with Palin potentially being President?
   

Abortion is a big deal to me. It's not my only thing, but it is a large issue for me. The idea that you can terminate a life because you don't want it is personal to me, being an unwanted child at one point in my life. Yes, there are lots of other things that I care about -- health care, taxes, war, energy, etc. But I need to satisfy this question in my head before I feel comfortable voting for a candidate.

Those are my thoughts right now. I welcome any and all comments -- I won't be as restrictive as I was on facebook, unless it gets out of control.

Thoughts on Mommy Brain

Before I got pregnant, I thought Mommy Brain was a myth. After I had Ben, I realized that Mommy Brain (MB) is a reality.

As almost any mom will tell you, you really do get stupider after having children. The inability to remember simple facts, words, details, forgetting a myriad of items in various places (church, school, playgrounds, other people's homes). I have always thought it has something to do with the hormone changes one goes through during and after pregnancy. Maybe the precipitous drop in progesterone after delivery zaps all of your brain cells?

Or maybe the exhaustion of taking care of a child all day or having your sleep constantly interrupted creates this phenomenon. Or maybe MB is a result of watching too much Curious George, Barney, Teletubbies or Caillou.

All of these things may have a hand in MB. However, my newest theory is that MB is caused by the sheer volume of things that a mom has to remember just to make it through each day. Not only does she have to remember to eat, bathe, dress, and make sure she is where she needs to be, she needs to do the exact same things to X number of children in her household. Whereas a father may feel comfortable waltzing out of the door with his keys, wallet and cell phone, a mother is often struggling to get out of the door, laden down with a 20 lb diaper bag, (in addition to a 20 lb child), after having made sure it contained any of the following:

• diapers
• wipes
• change of clothes
• burp cloths
• snacks
• sippy cup(s)
• a variety of toys
• bottle

Not to mention her personal items. And don't even get me started about packing to go away on a trip...

Moms also have to remember when the last time their children ate, what they ate, when they are due for another snack, when their diaper was last changed, what time they woke up from their nap, what time their next nap should be, where the pacifiers are located, when is the last time her kid went to the potty, shall I go on?

That's just to make it through the day-to-day. And that doesn't include anything having to do with herself! So, in conclusion, I don't think that MB is actually because said mother is stupider -- more that there are 100x more things on her mind than there used to be...

Our First African-American President?

So, with the election looming and all polls pointing to the probability that we'll have our first African-American president, I have been wondering...

1. How do you think a black president will affect the state of race relations in our country? For better, worse or of no effect?
2. Will it help the poor, urban black community (especially at-risk young black men) to think bigger/aspire higher than they may have before?
3. Does it make a difference that his father was a Kenyan migrant vs. having roots as a 17-19th century slave?

Although I'm of a more conservative persuasion, I am really excited to (potentially) be living through a historic time...

So, there are a list of phrases that, upon hearing, make me want to pull my hair out. These phrases (or some iteration thereof) include, but are not limited to:

• "think outside of the box" (I heard this one until my ears bled at my first job)
  
• "America is a Christian nation"/"Our founding fathers were Christians" (will discuss this in a separate post)
  
• "mortgaging our children's future"
  

We have heard much of the latter in this election season (all 2 years of it). And, while I don't really disagree that we are, it's such an overused phrase that doesn't have the gravitas that it ought.

I'm currently reading (very slowly) China: Fragile Superpower by Susan L. Shirk. On page 27, she gives a pretty bleak, yet accurate, picture of the effects of our consumerism:

"Every country -- not just China -- runs a trade surplus with the United States. The American consumer and the American government have been spending beyond their means. Countries like China and Japan are the enablers of American profligacy. Only because these countries lend the United States money can the federal government rack up huge budget deficits without raising interest rates that would hurt consumer spending. Low-priced Chinese imports also keep inflation low so that the Federal Reserve Bank doesn't have to raise interest rates. Many analysts consider the relationship not just interdependent but "codependent" because it is unhealthy for both countries."

(emphasis mine)

And then, this one:

China, like other countries, buys American treasury bonds not to humble or to help the United States but because it has to buy foreign exchange to keep the renminbi stable, and US treasury bonds provide the safest returns for foreign exchange holdings. China would harm itself as well as the United States if it precipitously sold off a big chunk of its US bonds -- the value of its remaining holdings would plummet.

I have so many thoughts about this financial crisis and I don't have the time or energy to write them all out now, but this really struck me in the midst of all that is going on. Our budget deficit is about $460 billion!!! Some projections have it at $700 billion next year as the enormity of the bailout and slumping economy affects next year's deficit. Most of this debt is held by other countries. The bible says "The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave"(Proverbs 22:7).

I think that our country's failure to adhere to a budget, both as a nation and as individuals, is at least one step in leading to our downfall as the financial powerhouse in the world, and perhaps the world's superpower, unless we can right the ship. Now, I'm actually not that concerned that we're going to lose that status, per se. I am concerned about which nation is going to receive the mantle of the next world's superpower, if we are to lose it, because that will most certainly affect my children's future...

More on Future Plans

Just to be clear, we're not planning on moving anytime soon. In fact, we're going to be refinancing in the next few months! And, we're either going to stay here or move to be closer to family -- sorry K, no Chicago 'burbs for us! :)

We're really happy here, for the most part. We have a good community of friends from all over the city, we love our church, and we love living in the city. The downsides are: traffic, taxes (can you say 10.25%?), being far from family. However, when I'm here, I am really happy here and feel that God is using us here.

When I go to Michigan though, I cannot help but think about how much easier life would be if we lived there in a lot of ways. Housing is MUCH cheaper, taxes are less (although in Ann Arbor, we wouldn't see a significant drop in property taxes), good schools, etc. And I get really nostalgic for that area and would like to see my kids have a similar childhood to what I experienced, which they won't get living in the city. We'd love to live closer to family -- that would really be the main pull. Chris' brother & sister-in-law and our niece and nephew (to whom we are very close) live there, as well as just about my entire family.

Although, what trumps all of that is determining whether or not God wants us to adopt internationally (we both have the desire) and realizing that it would take us a LONG time to save up that much money without me going back to work. Which means that I would go back to school. Which also means that I'd most likely be working after we adopt. And I'm somewhat opposed to that philosophically as I'm staying at home with Ben & Caroline in the early years at least and don't want to give this child less than I am giving them.

I don't like the idea of pulling a child (we'd probably adopt a little older) away from their culture and everything they know and stay home for a few weeks and then leave them in daycare/with a nanny/etc. If we moved, we could take the equity out of the house and buy a much cheaper (but probably bigger house!) in Michigan, adopt a child and I could have the luxury (and I really do consider it that, as much as I like to complain about it) of staying home with him/her.

*sigh* Too much to decide.

just do it
I did it. I got up and ran this morning again. I even shaved 2 whole minutes off of my time two days ago! That was encouraging. It still hurt though, and I suspect it probably will for awhile! For those reading who live near me, please call Chris if you find me passed out on the sidewalk.

I can't take much credit for getting back on the exercise bandwagon. Chris was the one who started it -- he is going to join an indoor soccer team in a few weeks and wants to be in shape for it, so he started getting up early in the morning to go running on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays and said he'd let me sleep in on Tuesdays and Thursdays since I'd be getting up with the kids. Well, I was feeling really guilty about sleeping in on my days instead of getting up and doing something! Plus, he was starting to lose weight and I can't have my husband weighing less than me (I still have a cushion before he gets there, but as Caroline is weaning, the pounds are going to start packing on, particularly around the holidays)...

I'd like to say that I have only the best goals of personal fitness and trying to take care of myself, but it's really just to lose weight and keep that cushion between me & Chris. In addition, we're going skiing in February in Colorado and I want to be in shape for that! Although, as I'm getting more into it, I am happy to be getting into shape and modeling that for our children.

big decisions
We have some big decisions to make in the next few years and I'm really unsure as to where God is leading us right now. In no particular order because they are all somewhat intertwined, we have to decide on the following:

• Kids: Whether or not to conceive another; adopting - which country, when, what age, need money for it; am I going to stay at home with all of them until they reach school age?
  
• Graduate School: Chris will be graduating next year (hallelujah!!!), which will free us up for me to go to school -- but do I want to do that now or are we going to have more kids right now?
• Elementary School: Thinking about this makes me break out in hives
  
• Moving: Are we going to stay in the city? Will we be able to afford staying here with our sales tax and property taxes skyrocketing without a second income? If we move, would we move to Michigan with its crappy economy, thereby leaving Chris' stable job and exchanging it for an unknown quantity? If we moved to Michigan, where would we go to church? But, it's so tempting to move home...
  

See? Lots to think about and pray through. I think that God knows where we can best use our gifts and talents -- while He might say "okay" to something else that we pursue, it's not going to be the place where we can be best used or find the most joy. I know that Chris & I both want to be in the place (literally & figuratively) where we can be fully utilized.

Running & Numbness

run, kindra, run
I went running yesterday for the first time since February, 2007 (which is the month we found out I was pregnant). Ouch -- both for the length of time it has been and for my physical state. I was doing fine the first two blocks. And then it started to hurt. I plowed through and did 2 miles -- walked the last .1 mile or so. It took me a looong time, like 23 minutes to do those 2 miles, but I got through it. I'm hoping to get myself up tomorrow morning to do it again. I know it just gets easier the more you do it, but man, it's hard to motivate yourself to get out of your warm cozy bed in the morning!

comfortably numb
I had a dentist appointment yesterday to get a cavity filled, an appointment that I was NOT looking forward to. I have only had 3 small cavities in my entire life. Apparently I have really good enamel, or so says my dentist.

I really hate having Novocaine applied. I had a bad experience once where the dentist must have put it directly on a nerve because it hurt like the Dickens. Beyond that, I just don't like that numbness sensation. However, I'm so thankful that we have that now -- I have had one of those small cavities filled without it and it was really painful! I can't even imagine how horrible it would be without it -- as people had to endure in the days before anesthesia. It really wasn't bad, all in all. I didn't feel any pain, not even in the application of the Novocaine.

It did get me thinking about how to improve my oral hygiene so I don't have to go through this again. I brush twice a day, floss sometimes, drink lots of water and chew sugarfree gum. I don't really limit my sweet intake though.

I also think about how to improve my children's oral hygiene, beyond just hoping they have my good enamel (and not Chris'). Ben LOVES candy (actually, any junk food). He also loves chocolate milk, and for awhile, that was the only way he would drink milk. I normally give him one cup/day of chocolate milk (with only one scoop of chocolate powder). He's been to the dentist twice already and has great teeth, though I do feel guilty about how much sweet stuff I give him. I really need to try to limit it, though I wasn't really limited as a child and never had a lot of negative repercussions (weight gain, teeth issues) because of it. Though I definitely want to spare my children the negative experience of having to have a cavity filled, particularly at a young age.

Dental health is pretty important to me -- I was always taken to the dentist twice/year as a child and plan to take my children that often. I'm thankful we have insurance to cover it.

Financial Crisis

For those interested in these sorts of things (and really, even for those who aren't), I really think that you should spend 2 hours of your time and listen to these two shows on my favorite radio program This American Life. They are definitely worth your time. You will come away with a much deeper understanding of the financial crisis, delivered in an easy-to-understand-an-extremely-complex issue kind of way.

The Giant Pool of Money

and the follow-up:
Another Frightening Show About the Economy

If you've heard these, or after you listen to them, post here with your comments & thoughts... I have lots of my own that I will post separately if they don't come out here.

Gone Home

Today, the mother of a good friend of mine went home to be with Jesus. I've never met her mother, but I'm grieving the loss all the same.

I have not lost anyone very close to me to this point. I still have all 4 of my grandparents, which I know is pretty rare. I dread the day when I do lose someone close to me as I've never walked through that particular valley before. I can count on one hand the number of funerals I have been to -- two of those were for people around my age (when I was 16 years old and again when I was 28).

I'm getting to that age when the incidence of heart attacks, strokes, cancers in the generation right above me is going to be much more prevalent as I hear of my friends' parents and probably my own, suffering from various afflictions. There will be much comforting and comfort received in the coming days.

One of my fervent desires is that I go home before my children do. I don't know how a parent endures that.

I'm happy for my friend's mother -- she is experiencing a comfort, joy & peace that she never knew here on earth. But I'm sad for who she has left behind, because I know she will be missed.

Nicknames

I'm quite fond of nicknames, generally. I have had many growing up including, but not limited to:

• Kinderooni
• Kindra Jo from Kokomo (thank goodness I didn't actually grow up in Kokomo in the 80's)
  
• Sweet Cheeks
• Cynthia (this is the strangest one to me, one that I didn't comprehend as strange until I was in college and wondered "why in the world did my mom call me Cynthia when that's clearly not my name?")
• kinaida
• Dr. Dra (most often shortened to "Dra")
  

When I was pregnant with Ben and we wrestled over what to name him, we both liked Benjamin and also liked that it would be shortened to Ben. We really did not like the "Benji" moniker that some (Sarah!!) were threatening to call him. He really doesn't have a nickname other than Ben, although I guess he does get called the following from time to time:

• Bud
• Sweet boy
• Benji-man

Unfortunately, there are no really good nicknames for Caroline, with the notable exception of "Cay-cay", as dubbed by Vicki (and I love it when she calls her that!). Caro? Carrie? This was one of Chris' sticking points when we were trying to figure out a name for her. He wanted something that could be shortened, but nothing really works with her name. However, in her one year ex utero, she has adopted a few nicknames:

• Sweet Girl (very original, I know)
• Sweetest Baby
• Frankie (as in Frankenstein, which is how she walks -- arms straight out and stiff-legged, as is the custom in babies who are just learning how to walk)
• Snaggles (as in Snaggletooth -- she got her bottom two teeth and then cut the one to the right of the right front tooth, which isn't how babies normally teethe. Her next tooth was then the left front tooth, thereby leaving a large gap -- it is now coming in, but she looks like she's missing a tooth when she smiles. It's adorably funny-looking)

I'm open to suggestions for nicknames. I need help. If you have a suggestion, post it here!

This Both Scares & Fascinates Me...

Socks and A Sorry

socks
I finished my socks yesterday! I'm very proud of them. I have been wanting to learn how to knit socks for a good 6 months or so, but the class that I wanted to take at my favorite local yarn store, Loopy Yarns, was never at times when I could be there every week. Finally, there was a class that fit with my schedule and I took it. I'm so glad I did! It was fun to go and learn something new and get out of the house and let Chris take care of the kids for a night.

I never could have figured out on my own how to knit these. I'm mostly a self-taught knitter (with the notable exception of being initially taught by Colleen), but the rest has just been through reading and www.knittinghelp.com.

I'm going to try a pattern on my next pair, like these:
They are significantly more complicated, so maybe I should do a few more easy ones and then try these...

a sorry
I was getting ready for the day this morning when I hear wailing and whining from downstairs. I yell down to see what was going on and find out that Ben was crying because Chris wasn't letting him watch a Jib Jab video that he wanted to watch. Why is my kid watching Jib Jab, you ask? Our friend made some Jib Jab e-cards with Ben's face (along with 2 other boys his age) break dancing and Ben loves watching it (we think he thinks he can actually dance like that).

Anyhow, there are videos on the side while you're watching your e-card, and Ben wanted to watch one of them that Chris deemed inappropriate. And a fit ensued.

I took Ben upstairs with me and distracted him sufficiently (i.e., showed him my cell phone games) that he calmed down after awhile. We went into his room to get him dressed for school. After Chris got out of the shower, Ben went into our room and said to him "Daddy, I'm sorry that I was crying." I was floored. Completely unprompted, he apologized for his temper tantrum!

The biggest thing that my mom did right in raising us was modeling for us how to apologize. Whenever we would fight, she would always come up and apologize and make sure we made up. That's something that I really want to try to do with my kids. I think it's important for my kids to know that it's not weakness to apologize -- and when you're wrong, you need to do what you can to make things right. I think that lesson has served me well in my marriage and in my relationships.

It's much more often when I feel like I am screwing up my kids. But then there comes a moment like this morning when I think that my folly & failures are not getting in the way of what God wants done with these children...

Happy Birthday, Sweet Caroline

*cue Neil Diamond*

Poor Caroline. When we named her, we obviously knew about the song, but didn't realize how much both we and my mother would sing it to her.

I have been in denial that she is 1 already. I feel like I blinked and her first year was over. I certainly didn't feel that way about Benjamin! I just about threw myself a party for his first birthday, as I scarcely believed I made it through a year in one piece!!

Caroline means "song of happiness" and she truly has been that for me & Chris. She has been such a delightful baby and I'm so privileged to be her mother. I hope that we'll be able to be friends after she grows up and leaves the house (of course, it would be nice to be friends before that, but I know that is not my primary role in her life). My deepest desire is for her to grow to love, fear, know & serve Jesus.

As some of you know, I was really ambivalent about having a girl. I really wanted another boy, both for Benjamin to have a brother and because I just thought that I was going to have all boys. The ultrasound tech slipped up and told us that we were having a girl. While I was happy that she was healthy, it took a few months for me to really wrap my mind around having a baby girl. I have always been so apprehensive about having to deal with all of the girl issues -- body image, boys, puberty, etc. I'm not a girly-girl and have always worried that I'd have one and not know what to do with her besides ship her off to my mother, the consummate girly-girl!

However, as soon as I saw Caroline, all of those worries and ambivalence flew out the window (at least for another 12 years). I absolutely love having a girl! She is so sweet and so different from her brother (whom I also love & adore, to be sure, but it's nice having a different experience)! I like having the different personality thrown into our family.

I love kissing her chubby cheeks. I love nibbling on her soft toes. I love making her giggle by tickling her or playing peek-a-boo. I love playing her favorite game, pat-a-cake.

Happy birthday, my sweet girl. I love you more than I can tell you. You have brought such delight & joy to our whole family.

Pet Peeve

I'm not normally someone who gets rankled or annoyed easily. Generally, especially if you're a stranger, it will take quite a bit to irritate me (it's my eager-to-please personality trait). However, if you do this, you will really annoy me:

Me: I'd like to check out these books.
Circulation Worker: Okay. *checks out books* Here, I put the China book right on top for you. (yes, this is yet another book on China. I'm on a China book kick) Shay-Shay (or something like that, I don't speak Chinese).
Me: *looks askance at him*
CW: You're not Chinese?
Me: No.
CW: What? Korean?
Me: Yes.
CW: Kamsamnida (not sure how to spell the transliteration of that).
Me: *smiles awkwardly and walks away*

Now, I know that this guy is just trying to be friendly. I saw him playfully teasing a little girl about Caroline's age. He's an older guy and just wants to have fun with the patrons. I'm okay with that. I really resent when assumptions are made about me that aren't true. I particularly dislike when people start speaking a different language to me, assuming that I understand what they're saying. This has plagued me my entire life. I know a very little Korean (thanks John Lee!), so I know what they say most of the time, it just makes me uncomfortable.

I can't even count the number of times this has happened to me, by all races of people. It's normally older people who do this, although I have had a few Koreans just a little older than me come up to me and start speaking Korean, having never met me before. I've been told I just look very Korean and so they assume that I speak the language. It's even worse when I see the pitying look after I tell them I was adopted and don't speak Korean.

Partially, it adds to feeling like I don't really belong anywhere. Strangers look at me and think that I should be someone I'm not, and, as an adopted child, there sometimes is that sense that you're living a life that you aren't really supposed to have. Now, I know and am confident that that is not true, that God has purpose and plans for my life, which included being adopted by the parents that I had, meeting Chris and living in Chicago, etc. But, when people say those kinds of things, it rears all of those uncertain and insecure feelings that I felt as a child like when people would yell out "Hey Chinese girl!", which did happen a few times when I was in middle school/high school. That's confusing and hurtful when you're young and trying to get through puberty and identity issues.

Strangely enough, there has only been 1 incident since moving on the west side where people have called me Chinese. In my previous experiences, it was always the black kids who called me "Chinese girl" -- and I braced myself for more of that when we moved. But I can only recall one time that that happened to me down here and it was fairly recently as I was moving my car (it was a street cleaning day) and a guy was walking down the street with a shopping cart -- and he said "Hey Chinese!" I looked at him and then went inside my house. I think he was trying to flirt with me or something, which obviously I was not going to do! And it was a terrible pickup line in any case...

House(un)keeping

I'm a really terrible housekeeper. I like having a clean house, I just hate cleaning it. I like being organized and yet I've got clutter everywhere. I have 3 excuses:

1. Partially I shall blame the lack of closet space in my house. This house was built in late-19th century and people had waaaayyy less stuff than we have now, judging by both the lack of closets and the size of the existing closets. We even had a closet built before we first moved in and it's still not enough. It is a good reminder to strive to live more simply and to remind us to give.
2. I will also blame my parents (how convenient! I can't wait to see what my kids will blame me for) -- we always had a cleaning lady come in every other week and the running joke in our house was when my mom would tell me and my brother to "clean before the cleaning lady comes", which basically meant picking up our stuff. But that's all I was required to do as a child when it comes to housework. No scrubbing the toilets. No cleaning the bathroom, no mopping. I had to put my own dishes in the dishwasher. I don't mind picking up (and the good Lord knows I do it enough these days!!), but scrubbing and keeping things clean is really a chore for me (no pun intended).
3. Which brings me to my 3rd excuse: I have kids. Most days my goal is generally just to keep an overall tidiness to the house -- I feel like I can only do enough to get through the day (keeping the kids clean, keeping the dishes in a manageable state, picking up the toys) and don't have time or energy to do a really deep clean of things. By the time the kids are in bed at night (or during naps), I'm spent and the last thing I want to do is clean!!

It's good that we have family who comes in from out of town and stays with us. It's a great excuse for me to get off of my rear and start cleaning. I need that extra kick. I'd love to hire a cleaning lady but (a) we don't have the money for it and (b) I can't justify being a stay-at-home mom and hiring a cleaning lady.

I'm also excited for the day when my kids will start helping out around the house. Ben is pretty good about helping me clean if I ask him to help me pick up his toys. He also really likes to empty out the dishwasher, which ranks up there with annoying chores for me. I'm definitely going to indoctrinate them early and hopefully they won't have this same issue when they get older!

Basically, it boils down to me being an adult and responsible for cleaning my house and stop procrastinating & wasting time. It's like exercising -- I dread doing it, but once I'm done it feels so good (but don't ask me when the last time I intentionally exercised was)!

Happy October!

Today is October 1st. This date is significant to me in two life-altering ways:

1. On October 1st, 1999, I packed up the vast majority of my earthly belongings (and there weren't many of them) and left Ann Arbor, Michigan after spending 22 years there. My Dad and Stepmom picked me up from my Mom's house in my Dad's Ford F-150 in the morning (I believe it was a Friday morning) and headed west on I-94 to see what was to await me.

I definitely didn't think that I'd still be here 9 years later. And I definitely didn't think that I'd be raising a family in the neighborhood where we live now! I remember getting to the apartment building at 525 W. Deming Place and moving my stuff in and scrambling to get basics like:

• a shower curtain
• toilet paper
• paper towels
• a bed
• a couch
• food

So, headed west on Fullerton in search of a Target -- we had no idea where we were going and succumbed to asking random people on the street (although we might have called Emily at some point, I can't remember, my memory is getting foggy). We found that and then headed out to Ikea for furniture. That was much further than I thought it would be and it was almost impossible to figure out how to get into the place from the highway, being unfamiliar with the area.

Finally, with necessities and furniture to be assembled in the truck, we headed back to my apartment and proceeded to haul it all in and then assemble at least the bed and then forage for food in the jungles of Lincoln Park. We were exhausted and hungry. It had been a long day.

2. October 1st, 2001. A scant 2 years later, Chris & I started officially dating after a prolonged courtship in which it was clear that we both liked each other (as early as January of that year), but Chris had made a commitment to the Lord to not date until October. We tried valiantly to keep our feelings from overwhelming us in the intervening time with some success. On the night of September 30th, he took me to Kafeine (a coffee house in Evanston, which was much closer when we lived on the far north side) and we talked about our relationship and where we wanted to go. We stayed out until midnight and went back to his place where he had flowers (roses, I think) waiting for me and we were finally "official" even though it was well-known that we were together anyhow...

While we were in our courtship mode, we'd always say "Happy *insert month* " when the first of the month rolled around because we knew it was that much closer to October. And that has carried over to the rest of the relationship when we were waiting for our wedding (which was also the first day of a month), then when I was pregnant with Benjamin and then Caroline. But October 1st will always be a most special day.

Book Reviews

I just finished The China Price: The True Cost of Chinese Competitive Advantage and I was blown away by it.

Here's the blurb on Barnes & Noble:

"Acclaimed Financial Times correspondent Alexandra Harney uncovers the truth about how China is able to offer such amazingly low prices to the rest of the world. She has discovered that intense pricing pressure from Western companies combined with ubiquitous corruption and a lack of transparency exacts an unseen and unconscionable toll in human misery and environmental damage."

Do you want to feel horrible guilt for 70% of the products in your home? This is the book for you! Do you like to read about how greedy & materialistic westerns are? Read this book! Do you hate Walmart? You'll be licking your chops while reading. Are you concerned about human rights and want to understand better what's behind the "Made in China" label on most of your consumer goods? This is also the book for you.

This book opened my eyes in many ways. First, I think that we as Americans think we live in a bubble and that our actions, while they may affect others negatively, it's their problem and not ours. Our materialism has a price and that price is most often paid by people in 3rd world countries. We're feeling the effects of that materialism now (with the financial crisis, another post entirely) and we don't like it.

I think it's good to think about where our products come from and use our purchasing power accordingly. We want the most that we can have for the least price possible (I'm no exception to this). But, even if it costs us less, there are costs that are paid by others. However, trying to stay away from buying products from China is like trying not to breathe. It's almost impossible. But, this book also talks about the companies who are doing things right, who are purchasing products from suppliers who follow labor & environmental laws, which was helpful to me. That may mean that I might have to pay $2-$5 more for a shirt, but after reading this book, that's a price I'm willing to pay.

However, reading this book right after reading In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto makes me want to move to Montana, buy a farm and knit my children's clothes using wool from our sheep that we raise, let my kids play with cardboard boxes (that I make with recycled, organic paper) and eat grass and wildflowers. Oy.