What We Learned on Summer Vacation

It's hard to believe that summer is just about over. To me, summer is a microcosm of parenthood in its entirety: each day can feel like a month, but then September comes and you wonder how it went so fast. With my oldest approaching his 10th birthday, I have a lot of moments when I wonder "Wait, wasn't he just 3 a few years ago?"

That said, there are a lot of things that we have all learned this summer, including, but not limited to the following:

Benjamin

• I thought he was "into" baseball last summer, which, compared to this summer, meant that he was simply cognizant that baseball was played with a ball and a bat. This child has found his niche, his raison d'etre in baseball. If he's not playing it, he wants to be watching it. If he's not watching it, he wants to be analyzing stats on mlb.com.  If he's not analyzing stats, he's reading books about baseball history. That said, I'm really glad that he's found something that piques his interest so much, and something that he and I can have in common.
  
• In that same vein, he is learning what it means to follow a team (the Detroit Tigers) even when that team is imploding and the value of being a true fan and not the fair-weather variety. This is a painful lesson to learn and I'm wary of subjecting my son to potentially years of baseball misery. [picture is from Comerica Park July 2015 when they were barely in contention and there was still an inkling of hope]
  
• I had to gently crack his dream that it was unlikely that he is going to make millions of dollars playing in the MLB. I told him that he should focus on a college scholarship first and then we'll talk about the major leagues.
• Lastly (these are all sports-related, don't judge me), he got his first taste of SportsCenter while we were on vacation. We don't have cable at home and he loved watching it in the mornings.

Caroline

• Caroline overcame some fears this summer. First, she got her ears pierced, something she was hesitant to do for awhile until one day she decided she was ready and we had a girl's morning and had brunch and got our ears pierced (mine had closed up, so I got them re-pierced). 
• Second, both Ben & Caroline were on the same baseball team this summer. The league they play in is 7-9 year olds and half of the game is coach pitch and the other half is kid pitch. Chris and I were both unsure how she was going to do, partly because she was the only girl and because she was terrified that she was going to get hit during kid pitch. And those fears were realized one game: she did get hit. But she stuck in there and ended up getting a hit! And as far as being the only girl on the team and one of the youngest, it didn't matter because she played at least a few innings at second base every game. I think she surprised herself with what she could do. [this picture is from practice: they do wear helmets during the games and most practices]
  

Elias

• Elias can swim!! He has always loved the water, but we have kept him in a life jacket because even as a toddler he would walk in over his head. He loves that sensation of being weightless and not being able to touch the bottom. Chris took his life jacket off a few weeks ago and he was doggy paddling, but he was able to make it to me! He was so proud of himself. While we were on vacation, he swam to Chris and then said "I did it!" [Have I ever mentioned how much I love this boy? Because it's loads.] For the record, this is earlier than either of his siblings started to swim.
• He can also ride his balance bike like it's his job. We're going to skip the training wheels like we had for the other two and go straight to a two-wheeler next summer. I'm pretty sure he'll be able to do it. And if he can, this will be a full year before either of his siblings rode a two-wheeler.
  
• Elias made major sensory strides this summer. Memorial Day weekend was a difficult weekend with us in Cincinnati [in a different environment], surrounded by lots of family [lots of sensory stimulation] and it was warm [as Cincinnati tends to be]. I tried to put shorts on Elias and he melted down on me because he wanted to wear pants, something I attribute to a sensory issue. Sandals were unthinkable. He wanted pants and socks on at all times. Now, he is comfortable in just about anything I put on him, which is such a relief. [see? tank top, shorts, AND sandals!]
  

Kindra

• I really disliked taking a summer class. Even though it wasn't difficult and I did well in it, it was obnoxious to have to do homework while the rest of my family went to the beach. I will not take a summer class next year unless it's an intensive on campus and I can crank it out in a week. However, in spite of not liking taking the class, I did learn HTML5 and CSS, so it wasn't a total loss.
• Expect to have to formulate a comparative analysis about the similarities and differences between ISIS and the Nazis if I ever have a notion to watch The Sound of Music with Ben (even just the special feature "Songs-Only" on the DVD!).
• I need to have a schedule mapped out for my older kids daily, down to the quarter-hour to keep them from crumbling from boredom / malaise. 
  
• The most important lesson I learned this summer is that I should NEVER ever underestimate my children, that I should always believe in their potential and make sure they know that. Maybe I should rethink my discouragement of Ben's desire to play in the MLB :)

Blown Away

We went to the Open House this week. As I was sitting there listening first to the presentation and then meeting his therapist/teacher and the other therapists with whom Elias will be working, I thought to myself "How in the world does a place like this exist and how did we get a spot here?"

Elias's classroom is going to have six children in it with four adults at a minimum there to support. There can be pull-outs (taking children out to work on them one-on-one) as well as push-ins which would be a speech, behavior, or OT therapist coming into the room to work with a child in the classroom setting. While the world may not be set up for autistic people, this school definitely is and has spared no detail or thought into what our kids may need. They also have a staff member who is specifically dedicated to transitional services, that is, helping find the best place for each child after they leave LEEP Forward. She will do the legwork and research and come on school tours with us to find the best place for him.

The only possible glitch is that the switch in our insurance is so new that the insurance company could not confirm yet whether or not they will cover Developmental Therapy services since our policy hadn't been fully loaded into the system. All of the classes are led by Developmental Therapists and will be billed as DT sessions to insurance, which is the only way we're able to afford this school. We could still do individual Speech/OT/Behavior/DT therapy through LEEP Forward, but I think the benefit will come through the preschool and having that support to help Elias learn and grow in a school setting. I'm going to choose to trust that DT services WILL be covered and not worry about it until we have to. And if they aren't, I'm going to fight like a mama bear to get it covered.

So, we have a bunch of evaluations and scheduling meetings coming up in the next few weeks. Thank goodness we have a vacation scheduled in the midst of all of it. I think we will all be thankful to have that break. Elias has yet to have an evaluation where he's truly shown who he is and what he can do; we'll see how he does here. His developmental pediatrician saw him six weeks after she diagnosed him and said "He seems a lot different today" -- he was comfortable in the room and had just seen her not too long ago. The stakes were also a lot lower. I believe that he knows that he's being evaluated on his deficiencies and doesn't like it. Who would?

And so we march on with hope and expectation...

On the Cusp

After what seems like an interminable wait (which, in reality, has been 2 months), we are about to set our course toward Elias's new therapeutic preschool, LEEP Forward. We have an Open House this week where we'll get to meet the staff, tour the facility, ask questions, etc. We have already been contacted by the Behavior/Education Specialist and have plans to meet with her to figure out scheduling and potentially begin services before school begins. We'll also meet with the speech and OT to schedule in-home evals. It's all going to start ramping up quickly.

I have been in various states of frustration since his diagnosis, ranging from being overwhelmed to impatient to start services. Currently, I'm feeling slightly terrified, mostly because I feel that we're doubling down here, all of our chips are on the table and the roulette wheel is spinning. If this is not going to work, then where do we go? This, of course, is the absolute wrong way to see this on pretty much every level. But the temptation to feel that way is there.

Then I step back and see the big picture. First, how quickly we found this preschool. Second, how they only direct bill to a Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO, an insurance plan that we have the option to switch to on August 1st, just in time for school to start. Third, how this school is 4 blocks from Ben's school (and therefore 10 minutes from our house) and not in Lincoln Park or Lakeview, which would cost so much more in terms of time and transportation. Fourth, how all of his therapies will be in one place instead of me running to Oakbrook Terrace, UIC, and Illinois Masonic for therapy weekly. God has provided a way for us, and most importantly for Elias. I'm waiting with anticipation (and a little trepidation) to see what happens and trusting His provision.

For I, the Lord your God,    hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not,   I am the one who helps you.”- Isaiah 41:13