So, we had our third baby a month ago! We are so thrilled with our little Elias, particularly his big sister, who told my husband that she was mad at me for having a boy when she first heard the news, but as soon as she held him in the hospital, it was love :)
He has been a pretty typical, textbook baby. With my oldest son, it felt like nothing worked with him to get him to calm down. With my daughter, everything worked. She was hardly ever fussy and slept through the night at 8 weeks old, whereas Ben was up every hour or two from weeks 3-12. With Elias, he seems to cry when something is wrong (tired, hungry, gassy), but as soon as you fix it, he's fine.
Something that I've known for a long time about myself but have not known how to fix it is my propensity to not want to be in the moment. I've always looked to the next thing, even as a child. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult and have responsibilities and freedom (I am the child who asked her first grade teacher if there was going to be any homework -- I was so ready to pretend like I was a "big kid"!). When I was in college, I couldn't wait to leave Ann Arbor and be on my own (and oh, how I miss college life some days!!). When I was on my own, I couldn't wait to get married, when I was married, I couldn't wait to have kids. And now I'm at the married-with-kids point with nothing more to "look forward to" (well, except grandkids) and being in this stage of life for awhile. Looking back, I wish that I would have enjoyed each stage I was in more than I did. Ah, youth is wasted on the young...
Recently, God has shown me how quickly my kids are growing and how I'm going to miss it if I continue in the patterns that I have developed over my lifetime. For all of the sleeplessness, fighting, correction that is my life right now, I absolutely know that I'm going to miss this stage of life in 10, 15, 20 years. And I want to appreciate it, I want to enjoy the precious days left that I have with my children being at home. To enjoy how cute they are with their mispronunciations, their freedom to dance and sing, their joyfulness, their desire for affection and attention. These things are not going to last forever! Having Elias has only punctuated this feeling of holding onto this time while they're little -- he's 1 month old and has already changed so much since he was born. I don't want to wish this time away, I want to bottle it up and have it tucked away in the recesses of my heart. Yes, I am excited to sleep through the night again. But with the sleeping through the night comes a less cuddly, more active baby. And since Elias is more likely than not my last newborn, I am savoring this time with him.
All of this has made me more patient and more loving towards my children. I'm sad that it's taken my 5 1/2 years to figure this out, but better late than never...
Something that my excellent friend Colleen sent me has also helped me a lot. I've printed this out and put it on my fridge:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/10-points-of-joyful-parenting-printable/
This has just reinforced the things that God has been teaching me lately -- and it could not come at a better time as I could easily be driven crazy with a newborn in the house, sleep-deprivation and my kids on summer break from preschool :)
3 comments:
I've printed out and checked in with that same list numerous times over the past few weeks since I found it. I absolutely recommend Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. It's written just as beautifully as her blog, and just as compelling.
i have this tendency too and i totally relate.
thanks for posting that! I like Ann Voskamp's site, but I hadn't seen that piece.
I think the tendency to not live in the moment is a big struggle for all moms of young kids -- and I think a tendency to romanticize life with babies is a tendency for older parents! Every stage has its blessings and struggles. The one thing that has helped me to live in the moment a little more is doing the St Ignatius Examen every night -- it helps me to pay attention more during the day. I wrote an article about it awhile back, here's the link if you want to take a peek:
http://www.intervarsity.org/gfm/well/resource/examen
I can't believe Elias is already a month old! I know time with babies goes quickly for parents, but it's always much quicker for those outside the family. :)
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