Before Chris & I were engaged, we went through pre-engagement counseling (which I would recommend for anyone who is thinking about marrying someone -- do it before a ring is bought and deposits are put down). One thing that has stuck with me 10 years later is our counselor telling me that if I continue to be so hard on myself, that is going to extend to Chris and any future children we have. I have thought about that statement on and off and am realizing how true it is.
I know that I am by no means perfect and I'm not even really a perfectionist. And I don't believe that I demand perfection from my husband or kids. But I do find myself sometimes thinking that they should be better than they are (and I often think about myself in those terms as well) and I'm especially guilty of thinking my kids should be able to do more than they actually can at their age. I think partly it's because the oldest two started talking so early and have always shown themselves to be fairly intelligent (though I am their mom, so I'm biased).
We have lately been obsessed with Laurie Berkner around these parts, Caroline in particular (I also admit to really loving her music too!). There's a song called "I"m Not Perfect" that almost brought my to tears when I first heard it. It's not even 2 minutes long -- take a listen:
lyrics
You know what? I don't want perfect kids. I love my kids just the way they are -- and they love me, flaws and all. They do their best, and I do my best. And it's okay. This also extends to God's relationship with us -- while He is perfect, He doesn't expect us to be and knows that we're going to screw up all of the time, and yet He loves us anyhow. It's great to find wisdom in unexpected places, like driving in a car listening to children's music :)
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