Speechless

Chris & I watched the first episode of Speechless last night, an ABC sitcom about a family whose teenage son has cerebral palsy, non-verbal, and uses an Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) device. The disability community has been waiting with baited breath for this show: is it going to respect the disabled character and their family? The fact that the main character of the show, JJ, is an actor who actually has cerebral palsy (instead of a non-disabled actor played a disabled actor which is the norm) generated a lot of buzz and hope that this show would be a more accurate portrayal of disabled people's lives.

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The very first scene opens up with the family in a parking lot as JJ, who is in a wheelchair, is being lifted from their van. 2 teens are gawking and staring and JJ raises his hand and his mother, Maya, interprets for them saying that he's all there upstairs (meaning not cognitively disabled) and giving them the finger (since he doesn't have the fine motor skill to isolate one finger). Something about this scene struck me as a little off. It's pretty common for physically disabled people to make it very clear that they don't have an intellectual disability, which then places those who do have ID at the bottom of the pecking order of humanity and that in and of itself is damaging.

Overall I loved Maya and was obviously able to relate to her craziness :) The idea of buying the worst house in a wealthy neighborhood to obtain better services is something that I have thought about. I love that she's a fighter and is willing to fight for her kid. And I also loved the father's character -- this is definitely the dynamic Chris & I have where I'm constantly scouring to find the best services, schools, etc. and he is the calm force who listens but also pulls me back.

The sibling dynamic that was portrayed was very interesting. I loved that they're just a normal family and that the brother and sister have adapted to their brother's unique way of communicating. But I also loved the authenticity that one of the siblings showed in expressing his frustration at the fact that the thrust of the family was always for JJ and that his needs and desires were not taken into consideration. I think about this all of the time. At this point there has been almost zero disruption into the older kids's lives due to Elias's disability. I mean, of course they get annoyed with him sometimes, but if he was NT there would be different annoyances than what there are now due to autism (stimming, being loud, grabbing their hands to help him get something). All of his therapy is contained at school, so they aren't being dragged to his appointments, we aren't dealing with a wheelchair so our activities aren't limited, etc. But I have wondered what their response would/will be if we ever underwent a dramatic upheaval such as moving to get Elias into a better school district. But honestly, Elias endures way more than they do for our family -- this kid sat through baseball game after baseball game this summer (we counted it up and between Ben & Caroline there were about 50 games), which was after sitting through floor hockey and soccer games and swim meets. There have been so many hours sitting through his siblings sports that I actually don't feel at all bad if they have to sit through a therapy appointment now and then.

I also loved the dig at the "inspiration porn" culture when JJ goes into a classroom and his teacher makes all of the students stand up and clap for him, as if having a disability and making it into school is something to be celebrated. Disabled people are people and not simply objects of inspiration. Yes, there are many inspiring things to be gleaned from them as they work to exist in a body and society that is not always accommodating, but to reduce them down to a feel-good narrative and not people who have feelings, thoughts, and goals is wrong.
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I'm thrilled to have this story portrayed on TV -- the story of a family with a disabled child and their experience with the world. Though our family isn't dealing with cerebral palsy, it's good to see disability and alternate forms of communication gaining exposure and maybe taking one more step towards de-stigmatization and inclusivity.