Showing posts with label pet peeves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pet peeves. Show all posts

Friday, October 3, 2008

Pet Peeve

I'm not normally someone who gets rankled or annoyed easily. Generally, especially if you're a stranger, it will take quite a bit to irritate me (it's my eager-to-please personality trait). However, if you do this, you will really annoy me:

Me: I'd like to check out these books.
Circulation Worker: Okay. *checks out books* Here, I put the China book right on top for you. (yes, this is yet another book on China. I'm on a China book kick) Shay-Shay (or something like that, I don't speak Chinese).
Me: *looks askance at him*
CW: You're not Chinese?
Me: No.
CW: What? Korean?
Me: Yes.
CW: Kamsamnida (not sure how to spell the transliteration of that).
Me: *smiles awkwardly and walks away*

Now, I know that this guy is just trying to be friendly. I saw him playfully teasing a little girl about Caroline's age. He's an older guy and just wants to have fun with the patrons. I'm okay with that. I really resent when assumptions are made about me that aren't true. I particularly dislike when people start speaking a different language to me, assuming that I understand what they're saying. This has plagued me my entire life.
I know a very little Korean (thanks John Lee!), so I know what they say most of the time, it just makes me uncomfortable.

I can't even count the number of times this has happened to me, by all races of people. It's normally older people who do this, although I have had a few Koreans just a little older than me come up to me and start speaking Korean, having never met me before. I've been told I just look very Korean and so they assume that I speak the language. It's even worse when I see the pitying look after I tell them I was adopted and don't speak Korean.

Partially, it adds to feeling like I don't really belong anywhere. Strangers look at me and think that I should be someone I'm not, and, as an adopted child, there sometimes is that sense that you're living a life that you aren't really supposed to have. Now, I know and am confident that that is not true, that God has purpose and plans for my life, which included being adopted by the parents that I had, meeting Chris and living in Chicago, etc. But, when people say those kinds of things, it rears all of those uncertain and insecure feelings that I felt as a child like when people would yell out "Hey Chinese girl!", which did happen a few times when I was in middle school/high school. That's confusing and hurtful when you're young and trying to get through puberty and identity issues.

Strangely enough, there has only been 1 incident since moving on the west side where people have called me Chinese. In my previous experiences, it was always the black kids who called me "Chinese girl" -- and I braced myself for more of that when we moved. But I can only recall one time that that happened to me down here and it was fairly recently as I was moving my car (it was a street cleaning day) and a guy was walking down the street with a shopping cart -- and he said "Hey Chinese!" I looked at him and then went inside my house. I think he was trying to flirt with me or something, which obviously I was not going to do! And it was a terrible pickup line in any case...