*that* mom, part 2

So I fleshed out some of my comments in a previous post a few days ago.

Ben had his first soccer lesson on Thursday and he fought me tooth & nail on going to it. So much whining about not wanting to go and wanting to stay at home that I finally yelled at him to cut it out and that there are many kids whose mommies and daddies don't let them do anything fun and that he should be thankful and stop whining. That finally got him to stop, but he was still pouting and walking very slowly on the way to the field. I told him he had a choice to either participate and be happy or we're going home and he's sitting in his room for the rest of the day. A little background on my seemingly harsh reaction -- we had him in a swimming class over the winter and he refused to participate and was easily the most uncooperative child in the class. I get that he was afraid of some of the things they were doing, so we didn't push him too much, but there were several times when he decided to pout instead of trying something new.

When we got to the field (Wicker Park), there were about 6 other kids in his class and he was doing the first couple of things half-heartedly, which made me even madder. Finally though, he got engaged in what they were doing and ended up having fun -- he asked me afterwards when his next soccer class was and I told him in 7 days and he said "how about 1 day?"

I hate to be so demanding with him, but I also don't want him thinking he can go through life and only do what he wants to do at that given moment, and also that he doesn't ever have to challenge himself or try new things, especially when it's something that I know that he would like. The instructors were great with him and had a lot of fun things for the kids to do.

I struggle with knowing how much to push him through his fears or just plain stubbornness. I understand that he might be scared or reluctant to do new things. But I have coached kids who have flatly refused to do anything that they don't want to do and refuse to push themselves at any level, kids who are basically uncoachable. There are different reasons for that behavior, but my kid has no such excuse as abuse, poverty, broken home, lack of parental involvement, drugs, alcohol, violence, etc.

I don't care if my kids are the fastest, strongest, most talented kids on the field. I just want them to give their best effort.