an exercise in humility

I ran my first 5K in 10+ years today. It was with the young women in the youth program at Breakthrough Urban Ministries. We ran in a race with an organization called Girls on the Run, who exists to empower and enrich young girls' lives by involving them in a running program, culminating in a 5K race. All of the Breakthrough girls did a fabulous job! I was really proud of them and their good attitudes and desire to finish the race.

I was not able to be as involved as I would have liked to have been. Fall is a nutty time in our household, particularly the weekends. The girls (and adult volunteers) ran on Saturday mornings, which were hard for me to make. I made it to the last run before the race last Saturday and a particular girl, Sheniece (not her real name) latched onto me. She's a very nice girl who I enjoy talking with, but let's just say that she's not the fastest runner in the group. I had to prod her through most of the training that day (2 miles) and pretty much through the entire race, egging her on to catch up to me, or to run to the next stop sign, etc.

This was very much a struggle for me. I knew going into this race that we were most likely going to be the last ones to cross the finish line out of all of the groups in Breakthrough. I am very competitive by nature -- I can lose gracefully, but I don't like it. And I didn't like the idea of being the last one in when I could have (and would have preferred to) run the entire 3.1 miles and turn in a "good" time (though I'm a pretty slow runner, truth be told). Instead, it took us 55 minutes to finish. This wasn't an official timed race, so there were no winners -- the premise is that everyone who crosses the finish line is a winner. Particularly seeing where these girls started 2 months ago (I did make it to the first practice) and most, including Sheniece, could barely run/walk the .75 miles that the first week required.

However, I realized the week before the race that I'm not running for ME or any perceived glory that I would get by crossing the finish line in 35 minutes. I wasn't running this for me. I was running it for these girls. I was running for Sheniece. I wanted her to finish, I was there to be an encouragement and help for her. It didn't matter if Sheniece & I finished last. What mattered was that I humbled myself to help & encourage her, even if I had a few frustrating moments when I just wanted to finish the race and take off without her.

We were the slowest in our team as I had imagined, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. I was so proud of her resilient spirit and that she never once broached the subject of giving up. In fact, our entire group did a great job and had wonderful attitudes. I saw one girl in another team sit down with 1/4 mile left to go. I saw another girl (9 years old, maybe?) literally cling to the fence screaming "I want to go home!! I want to go home!!" and her father (I think) had to pull her off of the fence and carry her!

I can't wait for next year's race! And my appetite for another race (in which I will actually be able to run the entire thing) is definitely whetted...