Lately I have been wondering: what exactly are "rights"? What are my rights, as a citizen of the United States? What are my rights as a human being? Why do these things seem to be different?
As the gay marriage debate is reaching a frenzy and I hear calls for equality and giving people their "rights", it's caused me to wonder what rights actually are. During the health care debate, there was much talk about how quality health care is a "right". Just yesterday I was vaguely listening to an NPR segment when someone announced that a good education is a "right".
Of course, you can hearken back to the Declaration of Independence, which declares that, as Americans, we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Bill of Rights gives us protection over freedom of speech, bearing arms, not harboring foreign troops, due process, trial by jury, civil trial by jury, no excess and cruel punishment, protection of rights not enumerated in the Constitution, power of the states and people.
I'm not really seeing much here in our modern speak about rights. In modern times, we tend to equate rights with things that will make us prosperous and happy. So, if I have a right to quality health care, does that mean that I have the right to fly to the Mayo Clinic or Johns Hopkins to do my prenatal care (and have my insurance pay for it)? If my children have a right to a quality education, does that mean that that I should be able to have the government subsidize their tuition in order to send them to the British School? If I should be able to marry whomever I want, can I marry my sister if we're both of age and consenting?
I think that it's a slippery slope when you start to talk about rights, personally. It becomes something so personal and defensive that it's almost impossible to have any kind of meaningful conversation about it.
As a Christian, what are my rights? What does the Bible say about my rights? Does the Bible even talk about this concept? The definition of a "right" from dictionary.com is as follows:
that which is due to anyone by just claim, legal guarantees, moral principles, etc.
a moral, ethical, or legal principle considered as an underlying cause of truth, justice, morality, or ethics.
According to these definitions, I don't think the Bible does talk about rights. The verses about us being dust and worms come to mind and God certainly has His own justice, which will be revealed at the end. But does the Bible speak of rights? I'd be interested to hear if there are opinions out there on that.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
pregnancy & weight watchers
So, for those who missed it, I'm pregnant again. I'm really excited to hold this baby in my arms -- but in the meantime, I have to endure the whole pregnancy bit again. It's actually nice this time around because both of my kids are in preschool and so I can be miserable on the couch in peace and quiet for a couple hours 3x per week. Unfortunately, this "morning" sickness is an on and off all day kind of sickness.
With my 2 other pregnancies, I was done with the nausea at about 15 weeks. I was terribly sick with Ben (partly because I was commuting 1+ hours each way and would get sick during the car ride). I wasn't as sick with Caroline, but still nauseous and had one really bad day of vomiting. I thought I was going to get off easy with this one because I had one day that was really bad of vomiting, and then I was feeling pretty good, on and off. But, around 9 weeks, I started feeling really exhausted and nauseous and that's continued on until now (I'm about 10 1/2 weeks right now). I'm worried that it's going to continue past the 15 weeks of the other kids, which was something I was banking on until now!
Ah well. At least now I have the perspective that it's totally worth it and to just endure through it. It won't be forever and it will seem like a small blip once I get to meet this little one.
Now onto my topic -- not to fret, I am not doing Weight Watchers while pregnant. I was musing to Chris the other night how strange it is to be pregnant after doing WW. I'm in a stage right now where food is simply unappealing to me. I'm not having cravings, it's more trying to find food that I can possibly tolerate to get down. I have to eat when I'm not hungry (which is a cardinal sin in WW) -- I'm eating when I'm starting to feel nauseated and I'm pretty much eating anything that I can eat quickly, which has meant carbs (pretzels, chips, crackers)!
When I was on WW, I meticulously planned out what I was going to eat the next day the night before. Now, I can't plan out what I am going to eat in 2 hours because what sounds good to me now may not sound good to me then, and in fact, it probably doesn't.
No wonder my eating patterns got so screwed up after pregnancy! And then comes nursing when I'm forever ravenous and eating whatever I can get my hands on. Before I started to feel sick, I really wanted to try to limit my weight gain (I gained about 32 lbs with my other kids -- I had no deigns on healthy eating with either of them), but I see now the pitfalls that I fell into. In these early stages, you just want to do anything to make the nausea abate. And after the nausea abates, having an appetite return is among the best things that has ever happened, so I eat with abandon. I'm going to try to eat a little more sensibly this time, but still indulge once I start feeling better!
With my 2 other pregnancies, I was done with the nausea at about 15 weeks. I was terribly sick with Ben (partly because I was commuting 1+ hours each way and would get sick during the car ride). I wasn't as sick with Caroline, but still nauseous and had one really bad day of vomiting. I thought I was going to get off easy with this one because I had one day that was really bad of vomiting, and then I was feeling pretty good, on and off. But, around 9 weeks, I started feeling really exhausted and nauseous and that's continued on until now (I'm about 10 1/2 weeks right now). I'm worried that it's going to continue past the 15 weeks of the other kids, which was something I was banking on until now!
Ah well. At least now I have the perspective that it's totally worth it and to just endure through it. It won't be forever and it will seem like a small blip once I get to meet this little one.
Now onto my topic -- not to fret, I am not doing Weight Watchers while pregnant. I was musing to Chris the other night how strange it is to be pregnant after doing WW. I'm in a stage right now where food is simply unappealing to me. I'm not having cravings, it's more trying to find food that I can possibly tolerate to get down. I have to eat when I'm not hungry (which is a cardinal sin in WW) -- I'm eating when I'm starting to feel nauseated and I'm pretty much eating anything that I can eat quickly, which has meant carbs (pretzels, chips, crackers)!
When I was on WW, I meticulously planned out what I was going to eat the next day the night before. Now, I can't plan out what I am going to eat in 2 hours because what sounds good to me now may not sound good to me then, and in fact, it probably doesn't.
No wonder my eating patterns got so screwed up after pregnancy! And then comes nursing when I'm forever ravenous and eating whatever I can get my hands on. Before I started to feel sick, I really wanted to try to limit my weight gain (I gained about 32 lbs with my other kids -- I had no deigns on healthy eating with either of them), but I see now the pitfalls that I fell into. In these early stages, you just want to do anything to make the nausea abate. And after the nausea abates, having an appetite return is among the best things that has ever happened, so I eat with abandon. I'm going to try to eat a little more sensibly this time, but still indulge once I start feeling better!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
good riddance summer
I must say that I'm not sorry to see summer go this year. While we have had some fun things going on (friends in town, vacation in the Dells), the majority of it has been stressful and difficult for me and my family.
Starting in mid-April:
-My maternal grandmother fractures her pelvis, has to go to a rehab/nursing home facility, for what appears to be about 8 weeks
-My aunt (mother's brother's wife) discovers that she has a rare and aggressive form of liver cancer
-My maternal grandfather has a stroke (mid-June), my aunts & uncles try to get both of them into a nursing home in southeastern Michigan instead of south central Michigan where they live
-The following week we find out that my stepdad has Parkinson's Disease
-In July, my grandfather suffers from many infections and winds up in the hospital two or three times
-In July, my stepfather starts to noticeably decline from depression and fatigue. He is hospitalized three times (turns out to be the meds -- he got off those and is doing much better)
-My mother's drinking spirals out of control and she checks herself into a rehab/detox facility at the end of August
-Labor Day weekend: my paternal grandmother is admitted to the hospital with chest pains.
So summer 2010, I'm done with you and I'm hopeful that fall and winter will bring some much needed stability.
Starting in mid-April:
-My maternal grandmother fractures her pelvis, has to go to a rehab/nursing home facility, for what appears to be about 8 weeks
-My aunt (mother's brother's wife) discovers that she has a rare and aggressive form of liver cancer
-My maternal grandfather has a stroke (mid-June), my aunts & uncles try to get both of them into a nursing home in southeastern Michigan instead of south central Michigan where they live
-The following week we find out that my stepdad has Parkinson's Disease
-In July, my grandfather suffers from many infections and winds up in the hospital two or three times
-In July, my stepfather starts to noticeably decline from depression and fatigue. He is hospitalized three times (turns out to be the meds -- he got off those and is doing much better)
-My mother's drinking spirals out of control and she checks herself into a rehab/detox facility at the end of August
-Labor Day weekend: my paternal grandmother is admitted to the hospital with chest pains.
So summer 2010, I'm done with you and I'm hopeful that fall and winter will bring some much needed stability.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
changing the vocabulary of adoption
As a rule, I'm not a person who is easily offended. I try to consider the motives and perspective of the person who says something questionable and take those into account and try to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, this one thing has bothered me since childhood and as I get older, I hear many well-intentioned, sincere people saying these sorts of things and I want to set the record straight, no matter how small my audience.
I've heard people say the following many times over the course of my life:
(1) "I think we'll have 2 kids naturally and then adopt another one."
(2) "We have 2 kids of our own and then are going to look into adoption."
(3) "Is your brother their real child?"
(4) Various newspaper or magazine articles denoting which child(ren) is(are) the adopted ones and which ones are aren't (see: Jolie/Pitt children)
As an adoptee, these comments/questions are offensive. They insinuate (1) I'm an unnatural child, as if I came by my family in a strange or irresponsible way (2) that I don't actually belong to my parents (3) that I'm just a placeholder for the "real" child that my parents were supposed to have, or that I'm in some way an imposter (4) that because I'm adopted, somehow my parents love me less than a non-adopted child that I need to be categorized as adopted.
I would propose changing the vocabulary to "biological" vs. "adopted", and using those terms only when necessary. If you're introducing a family, is it really necessary to say "these kids were adopted and these weren't?" unless it's for a specific purpose? In no way am I ashamed of being adopted. I'm rather quite proud of it. However, this has always bothered me to no end because it makes adoptees feel like second class citizens! Christians, in particular, should know better than to do this. In our adoption into God's family, does He loves us as second class citizens?
*Sorry that it's been so long since my last post and I'm posting a downer topic :)
I've heard people say the following many times over the course of my life:
(1) "I think we'll have 2 kids naturally and then adopt another one."
(2) "We have 2 kids of our own and then are going to look into adoption."
(3) "Is your brother their real child?"
(4) Various newspaper or magazine articles denoting which child(ren) is(are) the adopted ones and which ones are aren't (see: Jolie/Pitt children)
As an adoptee, these comments/questions are offensive. They insinuate (1) I'm an unnatural child, as if I came by my family in a strange or irresponsible way (2) that I don't actually belong to my parents (3) that I'm just a placeholder for the "real" child that my parents were supposed to have, or that I'm in some way an imposter (4) that because I'm adopted, somehow my parents love me less than a non-adopted child that I need to be categorized as adopted.
I would propose changing the vocabulary to "biological" vs. "adopted", and using those terms only when necessary. If you're introducing a family, is it really necessary to say "these kids were adopted and these weren't?" unless it's for a specific purpose? In no way am I ashamed of being adopted. I'm rather quite proud of it. However, this has always bothered me to no end because it makes adoptees feel like second class citizens! Christians, in particular, should know better than to do this. In our adoption into God's family, does He loves us as second class citizens?
"According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved." - Ephesians 1:4-6 (italics mine)As Jesus purchased us with His own blood (which cost way more than even international adoption), I'd have to say no. We are "accepted in the beloved" as believers! What an amazing promise. Why can we be so insistent in our culture of dividing and separating that which is not meant to be divided and separated? This goes for many things above and beyond the concept of adoption, but adoption is one of the unfortunate casualties.
*Sorry that it's been so long since my last post and I'm posting a downer topic :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
can't win
Lately I've been feeling like I cannot win when it comes to the health of my children.
Disclaimer: my children are very healthy, are seldom sick, have zero allergies (Ben has a touch of seasonal allergy). Chris & I have hearty constitutions as well.
As a mom, I want to do the best for my children. I want to feed them good food, exercise their minds & bodies, and most importantly teach them about God and His love for them. Seems not too difficult, right? Well, here's a typical day and what I feel I'm up against in parentheses:
We wake up around 6:30 am. I go for a run while Chris feeds this kids breakfast, usually chocolate milk (that organic milk was too expensive at $6/gallon last week, so I bought conventional) for Ben, orange juice with calcium for Caroline and non-sugary cereal. I come back from my run and get everyone ready and eat breakfast myself, lately it's been organic yogurt with frozen blueberries, honey & sliced almonds (all non-organic). It's not even 8 am and my family has ingested like 100 pesticides.
I have been trying to limit their TV time to 1 - 2 hours per day, so we go outside to the park so they can run around and not succumb to the childhood obesity epidemic in this country. I put sunscreen on them (crap, I can't find my organic sunscreen and all I have is Aveeno, which I read on the label has ingredients that can cause skin cancer). I guiltily slather some on so they don't get sunburns and head out to the park.
Kids run around and we eat a healthy lunch, which consists of turkey sandwiches (turkey with nitrates and non-organic cheese), pretzels (high fructose corn syrup) or nuts and apples (non-organic, part of the dirty dozen). Go home, Caroline takes a nap and I do a quiet time, take a mini-nap and then start on dinner. Since I've been trying to switch us to a less meat-dependent diet since the way we produce meat in this country is horrendous, so it will be tofu stir-fry (tofu is made of GMO soy and stir fry contains non-organic vegetables). Dessert will be homemade popsicles made with orange, peach (non-organic, on dirty dozen list) & mango juice.
At the end of this day, they've probably consumed thousands of pesticides and exposed to lots of harmful chemicals. We belong to an organic vegetable CSA (which starts in 2 weeks), as well as an organic meat CSA. This is a LOT of money for our one-income family and yet my family is still exposed. Everything on the dirty dozen list are things we eat on a regular basis so converting all of that to organic is going to add $30+/week to our grocery list! I already buy potatoes, lettuce & peppers organic, but can't bring myself to buy organic apples because I don't think they taste as good and have to be imported from Chile and Argentina.
I'm the type of person who worries about what I can't control (i.e., plane crashes, tornadoes and the like) and so I try to control as much as I possibly can in the meantime. But it sometimes seems impossible to control the chemicals and pesticides that go into my family's bodies without spending all of our money. Plus, I think that we eat pretty healthy!
It's frustrating to me as I live in a community where children live off of pop and chips and other junk food. Is it not better to give children fruits and vegetables instead of junk food with zero nutritional value? But then their pesticide level in their bodies goes up as well as most people on food stamps cannot afford organic produce. Heck, most people with middle class incomes can't afford it. Does that mean that good health is restricted to only the wealthy? Food, Inc. gave an alarming statistic that 1 in 3 children born after 1990 will develop type 2 diabetes. If you're a minority living in the inner city, that statistic jumps to 1 in 2.
Boo. The older I get, the more cynical I am about our government (that they actually care about the people and aren't completely beholden to lobbyists -- in this case the food industry), corporations who only care about money and their shareholders and just capitalism in general. I am sick of feeding my children a piece of tofu and worrying that they are going to get cancer! I feel like it's never enough.
Disclaimer: my children are very healthy, are seldom sick, have zero allergies (Ben has a touch of seasonal allergy). Chris & I have hearty constitutions as well.
As a mom, I want to do the best for my children. I want to feed them good food, exercise their minds & bodies, and most importantly teach them about God and His love for them. Seems not too difficult, right? Well, here's a typical day and what I feel I'm up against in parentheses:
We wake up around 6:30 am. I go for a run while Chris feeds this kids breakfast, usually chocolate milk (that organic milk was too expensive at $6/gallon last week, so I bought conventional) for Ben, orange juice with calcium for Caroline and non-sugary cereal. I come back from my run and get everyone ready and eat breakfast myself, lately it's been organic yogurt with frozen blueberries, honey & sliced almonds (all non-organic). It's not even 8 am and my family has ingested like 100 pesticides.
I have been trying to limit their TV time to 1 - 2 hours per day, so we go outside to the park so they can run around and not succumb to the childhood obesity epidemic in this country. I put sunscreen on them (crap, I can't find my organic sunscreen and all I have is Aveeno, which I read on the label has ingredients that can cause skin cancer). I guiltily slather some on so they don't get sunburns and head out to the park.
Kids run around and we eat a healthy lunch, which consists of turkey sandwiches (turkey with nitrates and non-organic cheese), pretzels (high fructose corn syrup) or nuts and apples (non-organic, part of the dirty dozen). Go home, Caroline takes a nap and I do a quiet time, take a mini-nap and then start on dinner. Since I've been trying to switch us to a less meat-dependent diet since the way we produce meat in this country is horrendous, so it will be tofu stir-fry (tofu is made of GMO soy and stir fry contains non-organic vegetables). Dessert will be homemade popsicles made with orange, peach (non-organic, on dirty dozen list) & mango juice.
At the end of this day, they've probably consumed thousands of pesticides and exposed to lots of harmful chemicals. We belong to an organic vegetable CSA (which starts in 2 weeks), as well as an organic meat CSA. This is a LOT of money for our one-income family and yet my family is still exposed. Everything on the dirty dozen list are things we eat on a regular basis so converting all of that to organic is going to add $30+/week to our grocery list! I already buy potatoes, lettuce & peppers organic, but can't bring myself to buy organic apples because I don't think they taste as good and have to be imported from Chile and Argentina.
I'm the type of person who worries about what I can't control (i.e., plane crashes, tornadoes and the like) and so I try to control as much as I possibly can in the meantime. But it sometimes seems impossible to control the chemicals and pesticides that go into my family's bodies without spending all of our money. Plus, I think that we eat pretty healthy!
It's frustrating to me as I live in a community where children live off of pop and chips and other junk food. Is it not better to give children fruits and vegetables instead of junk food with zero nutritional value? But then their pesticide level in their bodies goes up as well as most people on food stamps cannot afford organic produce. Heck, most people with middle class incomes can't afford it. Does that mean that good health is restricted to only the wealthy? Food, Inc. gave an alarming statistic that 1 in 3 children born after 1990 will develop type 2 diabetes. If you're a minority living in the inner city, that statistic jumps to 1 in 2.
Boo. The older I get, the more cynical I am about our government (that they actually care about the people and aren't completely beholden to lobbyists -- in this case the food industry), corporations who only care about money and their shareholders and just capitalism in general. I am sick of feeding my children a piece of tofu and worrying that they are going to get cancer! I feel like it's never enough.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Food, Inc.
I recently watched the documentary Food, Inc. and am still processing it and how I want my family to eat and view food differently.
I was shocked and appalled by it while watching. However, after thinking about it for awhile, I've decided that while the truth of it is disturbing, the movie itself is fairly alarmist and meant to be shocking. If you have not seen it, you should! It is important for us to think about how our food is produced and processed, particularly since we are so far removed from the process, unless you are raising your own meat and growing your own vegetables.
One of the particular evils that is being committed is our reliance on corn. Corn by-products are in so many processed foods! Corn is heavily subsidized by our federal government and therefore cheap to produce. Because of its low cost, it is also put in many processed foods instead of sugar or other natural sweeteners (read: high fructose corn syrup). Corn is also fed to chickens, cattle, pigs to fatten them up more quickly for slaughter. So, if corn is being used to fatten up animals, what is this reliance on corn in our food supply doing to us? Fattening US up.
Since corn is just about the only crop we produce and we produce it so cheaply because of these government subsidies, we basically control the world's food supply since other countries cannot compete with us in corn, so they end up importing it from us. This, in turn, makes them vulnerable to oil shocks, due to the cost of shipping the corn overseas, which we saw when oil spiked to $4/gallon, which it is also forecasted to hit again this summer. There were food riots around the world because of the shortages. So, we continue to get fatter while the rest of the world starves.
So, what this means for our family is me trying to cut the corn syrup and other by-products out of our diet. I've been making my own sandwich bread and significantly cutting down on our snack foods and making substitutions, for example -- instead of pretzels and chips, snacking on nuts. If we want cookies or other treats, I'm making them from scratch. I'm blessed with a son who loves vegetables and accepts those as a substitute. I'm reading the labels -- not perfectly since shopping with 2 children isn't the most efficient way to shop. I don't want to be crazy about it, but I think this is a good next step for us to take as far as healthier eating.
Anyone else seen Food, Inc.? thoughts?
I was shocked and appalled by it while watching. However, after thinking about it for awhile, I've decided that while the truth of it is disturbing, the movie itself is fairly alarmist and meant to be shocking. If you have not seen it, you should! It is important for us to think about how our food is produced and processed, particularly since we are so far removed from the process, unless you are raising your own meat and growing your own vegetables.
One of the particular evils that is being committed is our reliance on corn. Corn by-products are in so many processed foods! Corn is heavily subsidized by our federal government and therefore cheap to produce. Because of its low cost, it is also put in many processed foods instead of sugar or other natural sweeteners (read: high fructose corn syrup). Corn is also fed to chickens, cattle, pigs to fatten them up more quickly for slaughter. So, if corn is being used to fatten up animals, what is this reliance on corn in our food supply doing to us? Fattening US up.
Since corn is just about the only crop we produce and we produce it so cheaply because of these government subsidies, we basically control the world's food supply since other countries cannot compete with us in corn, so they end up importing it from us. This, in turn, makes them vulnerable to oil shocks, due to the cost of shipping the corn overseas, which we saw when oil spiked to $4/gallon, which it is also forecasted to hit again this summer. There were food riots around the world because of the shortages. So, we continue to get fatter while the rest of the world starves.
So, what this means for our family is me trying to cut the corn syrup and other by-products out of our diet. I've been making my own sandwich bread and significantly cutting down on our snack foods and making substitutions, for example -- instead of pretzels and chips, snacking on nuts. If we want cookies or other treats, I'm making them from scratch. I'm blessed with a son who loves vegetables and accepts those as a substitute. I'm reading the labels -- not perfectly since shopping with 2 children isn't the most efficient way to shop. I don't want to be crazy about it, but I think this is a good next step for us to take as far as healthier eating.
Anyone else seen Food, Inc.? thoughts?
Monday, May 3, 2010
the elderly & immigration
My grandmother recently fractured her pelvis as a result of a fall. She couldn't walk and is in a lot of pain, but seems to be recovering. She's in a rehabilitation center/nursing home for anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks, and while she's unhappy there and would rather be home, she seems to be getting good care from attentive and kind staff.
I went to visit her this past weekend and while I was walking through the antiseptic corridors, I couldn't help but think that: (1) getting old is hard; (2) I'm going to have to go through this, or something akin to it, in about 25-30 years; (3) the effects of modern medicine on our society; and (4) who is paying for all of this?
In regards to thought (3), I recently watched a Frontline episode on this man who traveled to Germany to commit assisted suicide. He was suffering from Lou Gehrig's disease that had left him a paraplegic. He still had full presence of mind, but his body was failing and he did not want to end up with a mind fully intact and a body that was not. To his detractors, he made the point that if not for modern medicine, he would already be dead as the only way he was currently alive was because of the respirator that he was on day and night. While I disagree with the decision he made to end his own life, I do wonder about modern medicine and how God sees it. I think that in many, if not most, ways modern medicine is a miracle that God has allowed to happen. There have been countless numbers of people whose lives have been saved because of modern medicine. There are many people's lives who depend on prescription drugs in order to stay alive and those numbers swell as people get older.
Because we can keep people alive longer (which is a good thing! I have all 4 of my grandparents and am so blessed to have them), our population is aging at an alarming rate. I was recently listening to Robert Reich in a segment on Marketplace (one of my favorite NPR shows) and was incredulous to learn that 30 years ago, there were 5 workers for every retiree. In a few decades, there will be 2 workers for every retiree. Though it's not in the article, there are currently 3 workers for every retiree.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this is unsustainable. His solution? Get immigrants paying into social security. Immigrants tend to be young and have many children, which will get more workers paying into the system.
I personally have never seen the social security taxes that were taken out of my paycheck as something for me -- I've always seen them as something for those currently retired. I don't honestly expect to see any of that money in my elderly years. I'm glad that my grandparents have it and that my parents, most likely will. I think I need to plan on having lots of kids to take care of me in my old age (that and careful retirement planning now)!
I went to visit her this past weekend and while I was walking through the antiseptic corridors, I couldn't help but think that: (1) getting old is hard; (2) I'm going to have to go through this, or something akin to it, in about 25-30 years; (3) the effects of modern medicine on our society; and (4) who is paying for all of this?
In regards to thought (3), I recently watched a Frontline episode on this man who traveled to Germany to commit assisted suicide. He was suffering from Lou Gehrig's disease that had left him a paraplegic. He still had full presence of mind, but his body was failing and he did not want to end up with a mind fully intact and a body that was not. To his detractors, he made the point that if not for modern medicine, he would already be dead as the only way he was currently alive was because of the respirator that he was on day and night. While I disagree with the decision he made to end his own life, I do wonder about modern medicine and how God sees it. I think that in many, if not most, ways modern medicine is a miracle that God has allowed to happen. There have been countless numbers of people whose lives have been saved because of modern medicine. There are many people's lives who depend on prescription drugs in order to stay alive and those numbers swell as people get older.
Because we can keep people alive longer (which is a good thing! I have all 4 of my grandparents and am so blessed to have them), our population is aging at an alarming rate. I was recently listening to Robert Reich in a segment on Marketplace (one of my favorite NPR shows) and was incredulous to learn that 30 years ago, there were 5 workers for every retiree. In a few decades, there will be 2 workers for every retiree. Though it's not in the article, there are currently 3 workers for every retiree.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this is unsustainable. His solution? Get immigrants paying into social security. Immigrants tend to be young and have many children, which will get more workers paying into the system.
I personally have never seen the social security taxes that were taken out of my paycheck as something for me -- I've always seen them as something for those currently retired. I don't honestly expect to see any of that money in my elderly years. I'm glad that my grandparents have it and that my parents, most likely will. I think I need to plan on having lots of kids to take care of me in my old age (that and careful retirement planning now)!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday Night Dinner
A few weeks ago, Chris & I took a trip to Washington D.C. (sans kids!) to do some sightseeing, visit with friends and refresh and recharge after Chris finished his Masters degree requirements, after 6 long years.
One of the friends we stayed with are friends of mine from college that we've hung out with quite a bit. It was great to see them and see how their family with 3 children worked in contrast to ours. One thing that they did that we really enjoyed was "Sunday Night Dinner." My one friend has choir practice around dinner time, which left her husband in charge of dinner. He can cook, but with 3 little ones around, found it difficult, so started a tradition of popping popcorn, cutting up cheese, apples & vegetables and putting out crackers or bread. They ate it in the living room and then played games afterwards. Their kids loved it, it was easy and a fun family tradition.
Chris & I decided to incorporate this idea into our family. In addition to the reasons above, I love the idea of not cooking one night, having one less meal to plan, and it also gives our kids a sense of the principle of Sabbath rest (something we're admittedly not good at). We have done it for 2 Sundays now (well, one Sunday was Easter, so we did it the Saturday before) and it's something they are already looking forward to.
One of the friends we stayed with are friends of mine from college that we've hung out with quite a bit. It was great to see them and see how their family with 3 children worked in contrast to ours. One thing that they did that we really enjoyed was "Sunday Night Dinner." My one friend has choir practice around dinner time, which left her husband in charge of dinner. He can cook, but with 3 little ones around, found it difficult, so started a tradition of popping popcorn, cutting up cheese, apples & vegetables and putting out crackers or bread. They ate it in the living room and then played games afterwards. Their kids loved it, it was easy and a fun family tradition.
Chris & I decided to incorporate this idea into our family. In addition to the reasons above, I love the idea of not cooking one night, having one less meal to plan, and it also gives our kids a sense of the principle of Sabbath rest (something we're admittedly not good at). We have done it for 2 Sundays now (well, one Sunday was Easter, so we did it the Saturday before) and it's something they are already looking forward to.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
"It's the End of the World As We Know It...
...and I feel fine." - Michael Stipe, REM
While I'm sure that Mr. Stipe did not pen those words with his eternal future secure, they ring somewhat true to me because mine is.
With each earthquake that I hear about this year (3 significant ones in 3 months -- Haiti, Chile & Turkey, as well as one off of the coast of Hawaii). And we're only in the beginning of March! And, if you think back even over the last 15 years, there have been tsunamis, hurricanes and a multitude of other natural disasters. I can't say for certain that there have been MORE natural disasters in the last 15 years than in the previous ones, but there have been quite a few.
Here's what the Gospel of Luke (Chapter 21) has to say about the end of the world (emphasis mine):
While I firmly believe that this is what's going to happen and am trying to watch for it, I can't help but be a little fearful, though Jesus does exhort us to not be afraid in v.9 (and then in v. 20 acknowledges that we will be terrified). I confess that I am a little scared of all of this. I fear for my children -- what is to become of them? I believe that I will be raptured, or "caught up in the air" as a believer in Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:17. Whether that happens before or after the tribulation, I am unsure (please God, let it be before!). But, if it happens before, what happens to my children? They know about Jesus, but they are too young to understand what it means to really put their faith in Him. Will they be left here?
My children have lately been listening to Steve Green whom I very much recommend if you're interested in helping your kids memorize bible verses. At the tender age of 2, Caroline is already reciting several bible verses just from listening to this CD! Anyhow, one of the verses is Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid I will trust in you." As in all things, I have to trust that God is good, gracious, merciful & kind and that He has it all worked out in advance.
While I'm sure that Mr. Stipe did not pen those words with his eternal future secure, they ring somewhat true to me because mine is.
With each earthquake that I hear about this year (3 significant ones in 3 months -- Haiti, Chile & Turkey, as well as one off of the coast of Hawaii). And we're only in the beginning of March! And, if you think back even over the last 15 years, there have been tsunamis, hurricanes and a multitude of other natural disasters. I can't say for certain that there have been MORE natural disasters in the last 15 years than in the previous ones, but there have been quite a few.
Here's what the Gospel of Luke (Chapter 21) has to say about the end of the world (emphasis mine):
There's a lot of scholarship surrounding this and I won't pretend that I've read it all or understand this at all. I think there is compelling evidence that some of these events have happened already, such as the sack of Jerusalem in AD 70 that destroyed the temple (v.20-24). Verses 12-19 seem to point to the martyrdom of the disciples to whom Jesus is speaking, but I certainly would not rule out that he's talking to Christians and the persecution we will endure.8He replied: "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and, 'The time is near.' Do not follow them. 9When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away."
10Then he said to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.
12"But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. 13This will result in your being witnesses to them. 14But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. 16You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. 17All men will hate you because of me. 18But not a hair of your head will perish. 19By standing firm you will gain life.
20"When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. 21Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. 22For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. 23How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. 24They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
25"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. 27At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."
While I firmly believe that this is what's going to happen and am trying to watch for it, I can't help but be a little fearful, though Jesus does exhort us to not be afraid in v.9 (and then in v. 20 acknowledges that we will be terrified). I confess that I am a little scared of all of this. I fear for my children -- what is to become of them? I believe that I will be raptured, or "caught up in the air" as a believer in Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:17. Whether that happens before or after the tribulation, I am unsure (please God, let it be before!). But, if it happens before, what happens to my children? They know about Jesus, but they are too young to understand what it means to really put their faith in Him. Will they be left here?
My children have lately been listening to Steve Green whom I very much recommend if you're interested in helping your kids memorize bible verses. At the tender age of 2, Caroline is already reciting several bible verses just from listening to this CD! Anyhow, one of the verses is Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid I will trust in you." As in all things, I have to trust that God is good, gracious, merciful & kind and that He has it all worked out in advance.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
4.5 weeks in...
...and I've learned a LOT.
- I always thought that we ate fairly healthy. We eat a fair amount of organic food, lots of vegetables and have even started to eat more vegetarian in the past year. However, I've been proved wrong, at least where fat and calories are concerned.
- My portions used to be gigantic!
- My stomach has shrunk considerably in the last 4 1/2 weeks
- Writing down everything you eat creates a disincentive to put just anything in your mouth
- I appreciate my food a lot more these days
- I forgot what being hungry for my food actually was until 4 1/2 weeks ago
- I have way more energy when I eat less food, which is counter-intuitive
- My husband is incredibly supportive, even though he would look malnourished if he lost any weight
- Annoyingly, my kids want to eat my food, particularly if I have methodically portioned it
- I really like how Weight Watchers allows you to budget your food -- you can eat whatever you want, you just have to save them up by eating healthier to account for it
- If I'm given an incentive to exercise (like the ability to eat more food), I will exercise consistently
- After I hit my goal weight and my subscription has ended, I think I'm going to try to eat well for most of the week and then not worry about it for 1 or 2 days out of the week
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I started Weight Watchers this week. I have told a few people and the reaction is always the same "Why? You don't need to lose weight." Well, since weaning Caroline, I have gained about 5 lbs, 5 lbs that I'd like to lose again , plus a little extra as long as I'm paying for it :) When I'm nursing, I can eat whatever I want and lose weight. Unfortunately, since weaning, I have eaten whatever I want and put a few extra pounds on. I don't even really know how much I'm *supposed* to be eating (portion control is not my forte), and I'm hoping this will help me with that as well.
This is the first official "diet" (though I loathe that term) that I've been on. When I was in high school and always thought that I was fat (and when I look at pictures of myself in high school, I can't believe I ever thought that), I would put myself on a restricted diet whereby I would not allow myself to eat more than 10 grams of fat per day. I was also on the morning sickness diet, unwittingly. I've always had a negative body image, even when I was thin. I remember when I was 12 years old that I would watch the Miss America pageant and compare my prepubescent body to theirs and feel fat as a result.
I do not want to pass this negative body image onto my own daughter. So, I'm hesitant to do this in the first place, but I think that getting to a healthy weight and getting better eating habits will serve us all well. We eat pretty healthy as a family, with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, but we also use a lot of butter and full-fat dairy, so I should be more mindful of those things.
I am also doing this with my Mom, which I think will help motivate us both! It always helps me to do difficult things with other people, this or working out. Does anyone who has done Weight Watchers have any tips for me? I'm seeing how there is a very strong incentive to work out because of the extra food you can eat. I'd welcome any tips or recipes!
This is the first official "diet" (though I loathe that term) that I've been on. When I was in high school and always thought that I was fat (and when I look at pictures of myself in high school, I can't believe I ever thought that), I would put myself on a restricted diet whereby I would not allow myself to eat more than 10 grams of fat per day. I was also on the morning sickness diet, unwittingly. I've always had a negative body image, even when I was thin. I remember when I was 12 years old that I would watch the Miss America pageant and compare my prepubescent body to theirs and feel fat as a result.
I do not want to pass this negative body image onto my own daughter. So, I'm hesitant to do this in the first place, but I think that getting to a healthy weight and getting better eating habits will serve us all well. We eat pretty healthy as a family, with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, but we also use a lot of butter and full-fat dairy, so I should be more mindful of those things.
I am also doing this with my Mom, which I think will help motivate us both! It always helps me to do difficult things with other people, this or working out. Does anyone who has done Weight Watchers have any tips for me? I'm seeing how there is a very strong incentive to work out because of the extra food you can eat. I'd welcome any tips or recipes!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Marriage
Jesus in response to the Pharisee's attempt to trap him (in a pretty ridiculous hypothetical situation, if you ask me) by asking him about the 7-times widowed, childless woman in Mark 12:18-25:
Wouldn't it be better if we were more focused on eternity? Wouldn't that help our marriages perhaps MORE than what we are currently doing now? This is not a rhetorical question, I'd love some feedback on it.
Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. (v. 24-25)It has always struck me as odd that the American church has SO many ministries specifically devoted to families and marriage, particularly the largest, wealthiest and most politically influential ministries. Why is that? Certainly marriage and family is important, there's no denying that. But, if marriage to our current spouse isn't something that we will have in heaven, why so much focus, emphasis, energy and money spent specifically on it?
Wouldn't it be better if we were more focused on eternity? Wouldn't that help our marriages perhaps MORE than what we are currently doing now? This is not a rhetorical question, I'd love some feedback on it.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Parenthood has been the point in my life where I've been able to most understand God's commands. Well, as much as my puny pea-brain can possibly understand that which is so infinitely higher and greater than myself. A few examples:
- I now more fully understand why God commands us to love one another. BK (Before kids), it wasn't something I thought about, it was just something that I was commanded to do. Now, I understand the reasoning behind it. It makes me crazy when my children fight. And it melts my heart when they are intentionally kind and loving towards one another. The latter is a joy to me.
- God doesn't want us to use filthy language because it makes us sound stupid. Lately, Ben has been saying "poopy" "fart" "butt" indiscriminately, i.e., "You're poopy." "I'm a fart." What a waste of breath and words. I can only imagine how He feels when we cuss up and down.
- I see now more fully how ridiculous it is to say that you love God but don't obey Him. Ben tells me at least four times per day that he loves me, unprompted. It's very very sweet and I cherish hearing it because I know that it won't last forever. However, he also does things that are disrespectful or disobedient at least four times per day, thereby showing me that, while I do believe he loves me, it would be much better if he showed me that he loved me by obeying.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
'tis the season...
With the holidays come and gone and with my children in the beginning stages of being able to remember our holiday traditions, I start to wonder "Am I doing enough to make the holiday special for them? Do they understand that it's about more than just presents? Will it matter to them that we make a gingerbread house every year? Will they remember me making homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning? Will they love Christmas music as much as I did as a child (and still do)?"
I have very fond memories of Christmas as a child. We always celebrated Christmas Eve at my mom's family and received a few presents there. My grandmother made her homemade fudge and we had lots of appetizers. It was always a comfortable place where I felt safe & loved. We would come home and open one gift and then go to bed and wait for Santa Claus to come and fill our stockings and put out the rest of our presents.
On Christmas Day we would wake up and open presents and stockings (stocking presents were my favorite) and have a laid-back day until my dad came to get me and my brother around noon. We'd then go to his house and open presents with he & my stepmom.
I'm a tradition-oriented person. I like traditions and want to create some for my own family. We decided after we had Ben that we were going to be home for Christmas Day so that our children could wake up in their own house and enjoy Christmas morning here since our families are all 4-6 hours away. There are some years that I regret that decision because I miss the Christmas Eve celebration with my family. This year, happily, we were able to have Christmas Eve dinner with friends from Chicago who happened to stay this year to the birth of their baby a few weeks before. We were able to have a large festive with them and some of their family who were in town. But many years it is just our family for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (we then leave to see family afterwards).
Some holiday traditions that we have:
-listening to Christmas music pretty much non-stop between Thanksgiving and Christmas
-making a gingerbread house
-making & decorating Christmas cookies
-advent calendar
-advent devotional (need to be better about this with the kids)
-homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning
-picking out "birthday presents for Jesus" in the World Vision catalog
It's a truism that we don't see the fruit of much of our labor until our children are older. I don't know if I'll see whether or not I was successful with imparting the special nature of the season to my kids until they are grown and start implementing traditions of their own.
I have very fond memories of Christmas as a child. We always celebrated Christmas Eve at my mom's family and received a few presents there. My grandmother made her homemade fudge and we had lots of appetizers. It was always a comfortable place where I felt safe & loved. We would come home and open one gift and then go to bed and wait for Santa Claus to come and fill our stockings and put out the rest of our presents.
On Christmas Day we would wake up and open presents and stockings (stocking presents were my favorite) and have a laid-back day until my dad came to get me and my brother around noon. We'd then go to his house and open presents with he & my stepmom.
I'm a tradition-oriented person. I like traditions and want to create some for my own family. We decided after we had Ben that we were going to be home for Christmas Day so that our children could wake up in their own house and enjoy Christmas morning here since our families are all 4-6 hours away. There are some years that I regret that decision because I miss the Christmas Eve celebration with my family. This year, happily, we were able to have Christmas Eve dinner with friends from Chicago who happened to stay this year to the birth of their baby a few weeks before. We were able to have a large festive with them and some of their family who were in town. But many years it is just our family for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (we then leave to see family afterwards).
Some holiday traditions that we have:
-listening to Christmas music pretty much non-stop between Thanksgiving and Christmas
-making a gingerbread house
-making & decorating Christmas cookies
-advent calendar
-advent devotional (need to be better about this with the kids)
-homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning
-picking out "birthday presents for Jesus" in the World Vision catalog
It's a truism that we don't see the fruit of much of our labor until our children are older. I don't know if I'll see whether or not I was successful with imparting the special nature of the season to my kids until they are grown and start implementing traditions of their own.
Monday, December 28, 2009
My Decade in Review
As the 2000's come to a close (how do you say that grammatically? The "aughts"? The "zero's"?), it's caused me to reflect on the decade that saw the most important and lasting transitions of my life. A one-phrase summary for each year:
2000 - homesick
2001 - courted by Chris
2002 - engagement
2003 - entering into holy matrimony
2004 - buying our first house
2005 - welcoming our first child
2006 - sleepless in Chicago
2007 - welcoming our second child
2008 - transitioning into a family of four
2009 - comfortable in my own skin
I like to see this decade as the one in which God has borne fruit in me. I think of the 1990's as the decade in which I was searching for my identity and found it in Christ. I see the 2000's as the decade in which my new identity has begun to flesh itself out.
Places I went on vacation (or was there for a wedding or a missions trip) this decade:
-Paris
-London
-Bath, England
-Kauai
-Maui
-Banff, Alberta
-Wisconsin Dells
-Washington DC
-Bar Harbor, Maine
-St. Louis
-Augusta, Georgia
-Denver
-Columbus, Ohio
-Harare, Zimbabwe (incidentally, I was there over 9/11 -- crazy story)
-New York City
-New Jersey
-Philadelphia
I anticipate traveling less in this upcoming decade, or at least to less exotic destinations, though perhaps if we end up adopting internationally, I'll have at least one opportunity to use my passport....
Happy New Decade to all!
2000 - homesick
2001 - courted by Chris
2002 - engagement
2003 - entering into holy matrimony
2004 - buying our first house
2005 - welcoming our first child
2006 - sleepless in Chicago
2007 - welcoming our second child
2008 - transitioning into a family of four
2009 - comfortable in my own skin
I like to see this decade as the one in which God has borne fruit in me. I think of the 1990's as the decade in which I was searching for my identity and found it in Christ. I see the 2000's as the decade in which my new identity has begun to flesh itself out.
Places I went on vacation (or was there for a wedding or a missions trip) this decade:
-Paris
-London
-Bath, England
-Kauai
-Maui
-Banff, Alberta
-Wisconsin Dells
-Washington DC
-Bar Harbor, Maine
-St. Louis
-Augusta, Georgia
-Denver
-Columbus, Ohio
-Harare, Zimbabwe (incidentally, I was there over 9/11 -- crazy story)
-New York City
-New Jersey
-Philadelphia
I anticipate traveling less in this upcoming decade, or at least to less exotic destinations, though perhaps if we end up adopting internationally, I'll have at least one opportunity to use my passport....
Happy New Decade to all!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
an exercise in humility
I ran my first 5K in 10+ years today. It was with the young women in the youth program at Breakthrough Urban Ministries. We ran in a race with an organization called Girls on the Run, who exists to empower and enrich young girls' lives by involving them in a running program, culminating in a 5K race. All of the Breakthrough girls did a fabulous job! I was really proud of them and their good attitudes and desire to finish the race.
I was not able to be as involved as I would have liked to have been. Fall is a nutty time in our household, particularly the weekends. The girls (and adult volunteers) ran on Saturday mornings, which were hard for me to make. I made it to the last run before the race last Saturday and a particular girl, Sheniece (not her real name) latched onto me. She's a very nice girl who I enjoy talking with, but let's just say that she's not the fastest runner in the group. I had to prod her through most of the training that day (2 miles) and pretty much through the entire race, egging her on to catch up to me, or to run to the next stop sign, etc.
This was very much a struggle for me. I knew going into this race that we were most likely going to be the last ones to cross the finish line out of all of the groups in Breakthrough. I am very competitive by nature -- I can lose gracefully, but I don't like it. And I didn't like the idea of being the last one in when I could have (and would have preferred to) run the entire 3.1 miles and turn in a "good" time (though I'm a pretty slow runner, truth be told). Instead, it took us 55 minutes to finish. This wasn't an official timed race, so there were no winners -- the premise is that everyone who crosses the finish line is a winner. Particularly seeing where these girls started 2 months ago (I did make it to the first practice) and most, including Sheniece, could barely run/walk the .75 miles that the first week required.
However, I realized the week before the race that I'm not running for ME or any perceived glory that I would get by crossing the finish line in 35 minutes. I wasn't running this for me. I was running it for these girls. I was running for Sheniece. I wanted her to finish, I was there to be an encouragement and help for her. It didn't matter if Sheniece & I finished last. What mattered was that I humbled myself to help & encourage her, even if I had a few frustrating moments when I just wanted to finish the race and take off without her.
We were the slowest in our team as I had imagined, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. I was so proud of her resilient spirit and that she never once broached the subject of giving up. In fact, our entire group did a great job and had wonderful attitudes. I saw one girl in another team sit down with 1/4 mile left to go. I saw another girl (9 years old, maybe?) literally cling to the fence screaming "I want to go home!! I want to go home!!" and her father (I think) had to pull her off of the fence and carry her!
I can't wait for next year's race! And my appetite for another race (in which I will actually be able to run the entire thing) is definitely whetted...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
marriage vs. parenthood
Our church is conducting a 6 week marriage class this fall. We just completed week 5. It's given us some good things to think about and talk through. While it's not perfect, I think that Chris & I have a really good marriage. We are well-suited to each other in many ways, particularly in the way that we think and view the world. We didn't have that difficult first year that many people talk about, in fact our first year of marriage was one of the most fun. We had a difficult engagement, so perhaps that was why?
As a result of this marriage class, our church started a marriage blog that has some interesting thoughts/questions/ideas about marriage (and we are the featured wedding picture this time :)). This post is asking the question about whether marriage makes you happy or holy. I have been thinking about this question lately as it applies to my own marriage. Before I got married, I didn't expect to be happy. Not in the long term, at least. It had nothing to do with Chris -- it more had to do with what I was reading and listening to, as well as my own parents divorcing when I was young. Everything was about how much work marriage was and how you shouldn't look to your spouse to fulfill you and how you will wake up one morning and not even like the person sleeping next to you. While these things can be true, it painted a pretty bleak picture for me.
So my bar was set very low for marriage and it's FAR exceeded my expectations. The thing that has worked to make me holy is my children. I think that all of those things that people warned me about marriage applies to children for me. Parenting is MUCH more difficult for me, much more of a refining process than marriage. Yes, my children are most certainly a blessing, but they are so much work, much more than my marriage!! At least in my marriage, it's a two-way street. Parenthood often feels like a one-way street, especially with my son telling me today (out of nowhere) "I don't like you, Mom." :( It's definitely taught me a lot about servanthood, patience, my own selfishness, and my need for Jesus.
These things might flip-flop throughout my life, when parenting seems easier and marriage seems harder at the time. But in the season of life we're in right now, parenthood definitely wins in the sanctification category!
As a result of this marriage class, our church started a marriage blog that has some interesting thoughts/questions/ideas about marriage (and we are the featured wedding picture this time :)). This post is asking the question about whether marriage makes you happy or holy. I have been thinking about this question lately as it applies to my own marriage. Before I got married, I didn't expect to be happy. Not in the long term, at least. It had nothing to do with Chris -- it more had to do with what I was reading and listening to, as well as my own parents divorcing when I was young. Everything was about how much work marriage was and how you shouldn't look to your spouse to fulfill you and how you will wake up one morning and not even like the person sleeping next to you. While these things can be true, it painted a pretty bleak picture for me.
So my bar was set very low for marriage and it's FAR exceeded my expectations. The thing that has worked to make me holy is my children. I think that all of those things that people warned me about marriage applies to children for me. Parenting is MUCH more difficult for me, much more of a refining process than marriage. Yes, my children are most certainly a blessing, but they are so much work, much more than my marriage!! At least in my marriage, it's a two-way street. Parenthood often feels like a one-way street, especially with my son telling me today (out of nowhere) "I don't like you, Mom." :( It's definitely taught me a lot about servanthood, patience, my own selfishness, and my need for Jesus.
These things might flip-flop throughout my life, when parenting seems easier and marriage seems harder at the time. But in the season of life we're in right now, parenthood definitely wins in the sanctification category!
Monday, October 19, 2009
missing children
So, I've mentioned on this blog before that one of my biggest fears is that one of my children will be abducted. On Saturday night, a flyer was tucked into our door informing us of a missing girl, 15 years old, with her picture and pertinent information on her. She was last seen a few days ago and hasn't been heard from since.
Then, I pick up a Chicago Tribune this morning (from Friday's edition -- we have a bunch of Tribs lying around, long story), and read about Yasmin Acree, another West Side girl who hasn't been seen or heard from in almost 2 years.
What struck me as appalling in the article was that the police and detectives automatically assumed that because a teenage girl is African-American and lives in my neighborhood that she ran off with her boyfriend and that she'll be back. They didn't even gather evidence at her house when they answered the initial call! Would those same assumptions be made of a white teenage girl from Winnetka whose lock was found cut and evidence of forced entry apparent? I really don't think so. I think that would be front page news (see: Elizabeth Smart), it would be on all of the tv news (and maybe even national) and there would be candlelight vigils all over Winnetka.
This is just wrong.
Then, I pick up a Chicago Tribune this morning (from Friday's edition -- we have a bunch of Tribs lying around, long story), and read about Yasmin Acree, another West Side girl who hasn't been seen or heard from in almost 2 years.
What struck me as appalling in the article was that the police and detectives automatically assumed that because a teenage girl is African-American and lives in my neighborhood that she ran off with her boyfriend and that she'll be back. They didn't even gather evidence at her house when they answered the initial call! Would those same assumptions be made of a white teenage girl from Winnetka whose lock was found cut and evidence of forced entry apparent? I really don't think so. I think that would be front page news (see: Elizabeth Smart), it would be on all of the tv news (and maybe even national) and there would be candlelight vigils all over Winnetka.
This is just wrong.
Monday, October 12, 2009
long time no blog
So I've been absent for a loooong time. In fact, my blog tells me it's been 2 1/2 months since I've last posted. It's not for lack of things to write about -- in fact in some ways it's because I have too much to write about and don't know where to start. I've been reading a lot, and with the start of cool weather, the desire to knit has superseded the desire to blog. Those are all of my excuses! I can't guarantee that I'll keep up with this more regularly, but I'll try.
Maybe a good place to restart would be some short book reviews of things I've read recently:
Team of Rivals
Excellent book about Abraham Lincoln and his Cabinet. Lincoln was not a "yes" man -- he wanted the best people around him, even the ones who didn't agree with him. It was very interesting to see how almost everyone that he selected for his Cabinet did not think he was suited for the office of the President of the United States (because of his low birth, humble beginnings, little formal education), but they all save one ended up respecting and giving him their unswerving loyalty. I came away from this book with a new regard of Abraham Lincoln as a person.
Olive Kitteridge
I went through a phase a few years ago of wanting to read Pulitzer Prize Winning books, so I checked the list for this year, and this book won it for fiction. I put it on hold at the library and waited a LONG time for it. I did enjoy it, but it was somewhat dark and depressing. I had the feeling of peeking into someone's life through both their windows and their friends & family's windows seeing every facet of their being. Very well written and engrossing, but I didn't love it, partially because Olive, the main character, is a difficult character to love.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
A friend of mine recommended this book to me and after my 2,000+ pages of presidential biographies (Truman and Lincoln) and somewhat depressing novel, I needed a bit of a break. This was a very quick read, definitely on the chick lit side, but not entirely. It's written in the form of people writing letters to each other. It's set in England in the 1940's, right after WWII. There were some interesting things in there for history buffs (yours truly) to make it seem not quite so marshmallow fluff-esque, but it was a wonderful read with a great ending.
Maybe a good place to restart would be some short book reviews of things I've read recently:
Team of Rivals
Excellent book about Abraham Lincoln and his Cabinet. Lincoln was not a "yes" man -- he wanted the best people around him, even the ones who didn't agree with him. It was very interesting to see how almost everyone that he selected for his Cabinet did not think he was suited for the office of the President of the United States (because of his low birth, humble beginnings, little formal education), but they all save one ended up respecting and giving him their unswerving loyalty. I came away from this book with a new regard of Abraham Lincoln as a person.
Olive Kitteridge
I went through a phase a few years ago of wanting to read Pulitzer Prize Winning books, so I checked the list for this year, and this book won it for fiction. I put it on hold at the library and waited a LONG time for it. I did enjoy it, but it was somewhat dark and depressing. I had the feeling of peeking into someone's life through both their windows and their friends & family's windows seeing every facet of their being. Very well written and engrossing, but I didn't love it, partially because Olive, the main character, is a difficult character to love.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
A friend of mine recommended this book to me and after my 2,000+ pages of presidential biographies (Truman and Lincoln) and somewhat depressing novel, I needed a bit of a break. This was a very quick read, definitely on the chick lit side, but not entirely. It's written in the form of people writing letters to each other. It's set in England in the 1940's, right after WWII. There were some interesting things in there for history buffs (yours truly) to make it seem not quite so marshmallow fluff-esque, but it was a wonderful read with a great ending.
Friday, July 17, 2009
an inconvenient truth
We have this movie in our Blockbuster queue, but haven't watched it yet :) Nevertheless, I'm learning more and more that inconvenience is part of the Christian life and that I think God actually wants it that way! Let me explain...
I, like most people, dislike being inconvenienced. It screws up my day/week, I can't get what I had planned done (or at least can't get it done in the time frame that I want it done), I have to expend more of my energy to handle the inconvenience, whether it's caused by road construction, someone needing my help, someone needing my husband's help, etc. It often leads to me giving up some of my free time for someone else's needs or purposes. As a stay-at-home mom who gets precious little free time throughout the day, I guard my time to myself with the utmost vigilance!
However, I'm learning more that inconvenience needs to be a part of my life, that I need to be willing, and cheerfully willing, to inconvenience myself in order to love other people. I think that's what we're called to as Christians. It's the refusal to give into our selfish inclination to make life about us and our needs and wants and instead to consider others better than ourselves.
For me, this is a hard lesson. I am selfish to the core, though God has used my children to beat the selfishness out of me! I still cling stubbornly to that last bit of self-absorption that I need to just give up already. I need to remind myself of the people that I know who refuse to be put out and the destructive effects on their relationships through it. I'm glad that God doesn't leave us to wallow in our sin, that, as believers, He provides a way out of it.
I, like most people, dislike being inconvenienced. It screws up my day/week, I can't get what I had planned done (or at least can't get it done in the time frame that I want it done), I have to expend more of my energy to handle the inconvenience, whether it's caused by road construction, someone needing my help, someone needing my husband's help, etc. It often leads to me giving up some of my free time for someone else's needs or purposes. As a stay-at-home mom who gets precious little free time throughout the day, I guard my time to myself with the utmost vigilance!
However, I'm learning more that inconvenience needs to be a part of my life, that I need to be willing, and cheerfully willing, to inconvenience myself in order to love other people. I think that's what we're called to as Christians. It's the refusal to give into our selfish inclination to make life about us and our needs and wants and instead to consider others better than ourselves.
For me, this is a hard lesson. I am selfish to the core, though God has used my children to beat the selfishness out of me! I still cling stubbornly to that last bit of self-absorption that I need to just give up already. I need to remind myself of the people that I know who refuse to be put out and the destructive effects on their relationships through it. I'm glad that God doesn't leave us to wallow in our sin, that, as believers, He provides a way out of it.
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